Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Those People...

I warily watch people walking past my home, and there are many. My street is the main thoroughfare between a poor neighborhood and the housing projects. It is terrible of me, but I look on suspiciously. "I wonder which one of you people stole my car," I think. You people. Someone obviously needed my car more than me. I hardly ever drove it which makes life somewhat easier without it. I hate drawing lines in the sand like that though. As if the poor minority people walking by my house were any different from me.

It makes me wonder what people think about me when they find my blog. I wonder if I am one of those people. I have no qualms of sharing some pretty personal and emotional stuff. I wrote about suicide for God's sake last week. I blather on about schizophrenia and we all know the stigma surrounding mental illness.

I got an email today from someone who lives nearby who happened upon the blog and they told me they were laughing at me and not with me. They also named my uncle's pharmacy thinking I was my cousin, Andrew. "How many of your father's customers are reading?" they asked. Close, but no cigar. I just wrote back telling them to do their worse, and that I had nothing to lose. Used to, I would have yanked down this blog in embarrassment and fear.

I realize today that I am one of those people. I am poor. I no longer have a car, nor can I afford to get another. I will be walking everywhere. My destination may not be the housing projects, but it will be pretty close. My friends are Ferret, a drunk who lives in a garage, and Big S, a lay-about with nothing better to do than hang out at a shopping center. I am one of those people and I am okay with that.

17 comments:

Blue Gardenia said...

It sounds like people who laugh at you are pretty cruel. Eventually everyone gets something. Would it be good to laugh at someone with heart disease or Leukemia?

Sharyna said...

I'm not laughing at you. Some of your adventures make me laugh only because I see so much of you in me. What happened to the insurance money for your car? Why can't you use it for another one?

sharyna

glittermom said...

Never be ashamed of who you are...I am not religious but I do believe we are all Gods children..

justLacey said...

So what if your father's customers are reading? Your father doesn't seem to mind. Why should they? Only a loser would e-mail you with something like that. What a nice way for them to start their new year off, harassing others with their own stupidity. Laugh on loser.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

HA, exactly what justlacey said!
Be proud of yourself, because I know I for one respect you!

HAppy new Years day!
(when we had our car broken into a few years ago, I too watched everyone and thought to myself, "it could be one of them.." and it's perfectly normal to do that!

Always,
Crusty~
Be who you are! I love this blog, your words are wonderful to read, your passion is artistic and I respect you.

Double Cross said...

No one with any intelligence or compassion is laughing at you. It is brave to write honestly about your sorrows and limitations. Ignore the fools.

mago said...

I wish to you a happy and lucky New Year!

impromptublogger said...

How cruel of that person. You are not one of "those people" whoever "those people" are.

When my dd was little we read a lot of Dr. Seuss, and one story I always took to heart was Horton Hears a Who. "A person is a person no matter how small."

Think how far you've come this year, despite your setbacks. You're really not drinking now, you've conquered panic attacks, found some love and hopefully a lot of friendship here.

Happy New Year!

Nickol said...

Happy New Year.

We are all one of "those people" to someone. It is their problem not yours.

Ally0005 said...

People can be so mean. You know what I thought when I found your blog, I thought you were very talented with your photo’s and writing.

Manifesting Mini Me (MMM) said...

Wow - that person who said he/she was laughing at you must have had a pretty tough time to have the perspective. I'm glad you did not get intimidated by that - that's a great overcoming!

Cheryl said...

Only a loser would e-mail you with the purpose of trying to make you feel bad. Loser! We are all one of those people to someone. To the assistants at work I'm the bossy one who tells them what to do. To my mother I'm so kind. To my daughter, I'm annoying. As long as we know what kind of person we are inside, despite what others think, we're okay. Circumstances aren't something we choose. It's what we do with them that matters. You try every day for it to be a good day.

Summer said...

Like Cheryl said, "We're all one of *those* people to someone." Don't let it bug you.

alyceclover said...

Glad you were strong enough not to let the mean emailer's word destroy your spirit. People only throw stones at trees laden with fruit. not sure who the author of the quote is. To go to that much trouble to try to hurt you, the person must be jealous of your talent.

I find it harder to write knowing some local people have found my blog. I got really free writing stuff about family~they never visited my website, so no danger in letting it all hang out. "We live in glass, houses we do not throw stones" family rule. Means problems get swept under the rug and issues never resolved.

Oldy said...

Anybody who would deliberately say something like that has obviously not suffered very much. But they will! Believe me....Just when people get on a high horse and think they are better than someone else , the rug of life gets ripped out from under them.

It is such a simple thing ..even a child should have learned it. for example...when my boys were little ,they made fun of another kid who had lice. Calling him "licehead" etc...
Next thing ya know , guess who has their own head full of lice? lol That's right ...my kids. :)

Sometimes "those people" are the best human beings out there. They have suffered more, understand more and seen more.
Be proud of who you are And that you make it through everyday doing what you set out to do.

You are very talented and really...you should be writing a book:))

Keep on keepin on...
Peace out:)

Karin's Korner said...

Andrew, I am sorry people are laughing at you, some people take advantage of the fact that some of us are different from others and in some sick twisted way it makes them feel better. About your car, did you have insurance on it and when they pay out will you not be able to get a new one? Just wondering, I hate to think that you feel you will not have a car again.

Kelly Jene said...

I'm so sorry Andrew. What a horrible thing to do. There is such hate and unhappiness in the world... why do people feel necessary to share it? What do they expect you to do? Cower and apologize? Forget them! Never apologize for who you are.

I live on the "wrong side of the tracks" and have tattoos, trust me, I know what you are going through.