Sunday, January 6, 2008

Of the Least of Us...

I've been reading The Homeless Guy for four years now every day. I still have tons of questions, but the guy won't allow comments or answer emails. I used to be very critical of him. I thought he was arrogant and his blog was nothing more than a front for a very wily panhandler. He still miffs me when he posts the simple post, "Saturday is my birthday," just to generate Paypal donations. I read along as he took and took and never gave anything back -- his blog being the only contribution to helping solve homelessness. A subject dear to my heart.

He is now down to about 200 readers a day as you can see by clicking on his sitemeter button from a high of thousands. I won't gloat though. I really want to see the guy get a home. I want his blog to be successful. Nobody has put up with more online shit than he, and much of it was his fault I might add if I am honest. If he would have only been kinder or gentler, but that may be too much to ask of a homeless man dealing with life on the streets.

He recently got a part time job and I was so elated for him. I was wary, too, though. Too often this fellow has started something only to never finish it. I worried that work would get tedious and rote, and he would quit. I think me and him are a lot alike thus I think I know what he is going to do. I guess that was why I grew so enthralled by his blog. I could see myself in him. I went so far as wanting to emulate him by moving to Nashville and following his lead -- to live the aimless and responsibility-less life of a homeless man who blogged in coffee shops with laptops. Luckily, I never could get up enough money for a bus ticket or the courage, or I would have been long gone.

It makes me scared that I am so alike him. Will I quit once I start working? Will I give up when the newness wears off and work becomes routine? Will I abandon my family and Maggie to live the idle life of the un-homed? It is times like these I want to emulate my father. Responsible. Steady. Fiscally sound. All the characteristics of good character I want to emulate. Sadly, I see my personality and character mirrored by the life of a homeless guy living a state away. Is there hope for me?

19 comments:

Leann said...

There is always hope Andrew. All things are possible. Set it in your heart and soul and it will be so.

C.A. said...

Honey, if there were no hope for you, you'd not even consider anyone or anything else, and you'd BE homeless instead of writing about it. You think of others...your family...Maggie...Rosa...and what their life would be without you in it...significantly less happy.

There is SUCH great hope for you!

:)

Cheryl said...

Of course there's hope for you. Live your life one day at a time and you'll never be hopeless. Strive to be the best person you can be. The Homeless Guy is just one person, living his life his way. It's not your way. It's not a better way.

Happy Sunday, Andrew.

Ryan said...

Andrew, I've been meaning to ask. If the Homeless Guy's blog is as good as you make out, why does he never have any comments? He can't be THAT stubborn so as to not allow them, surely?

Ally0005 said...

There will be times that you will want to quit but those are the times you hold on and keep going.
Write down your goals,keep them somewhere you can see them, it helps you remember what you want in your life.

alyceclover said...

To answer Ryan The Homeless Guy disabled comments to get a break from what I call the nasties. People that are clueless about mental disorders and scream out of car windows (or blog comments) get a job without a bit of knowledge.

I read everything The Homeless Guy wrote. His original blog is no longer available online. Because I followed his story, I feel I know him a bit. I do not find you, Andrew, and him to be anything alike, so interesting observation.

The most glaring difference might be on social anxiety. You seem to be a people person, where as he is a loner type. He reminds me somewhat of my friend Bear. Perhaps knowing Bear in person helps me understand Kevin better.

People spend an awful lot of money on books, magazines, newspapers. If people want to throw him some money to me that is about the same as paying for the magazine. "Save Karen" garnered enough money to pay off her credit card debt. Shows where people's priorities are. Gucci bags and I do not know brand name shoes and dresses, they will help pay for, but bulk about buying a homeless guy a cigar.

If Karen did not ask strangers to save her, she might not have become homeless and found another way to save herself. I know one thing for sure: If you do not ask you will not get. Much easier to ask online than walk up to strangers on the street.

glittermom said...

Did this homeless guy ever say why he became homeless...He had a family once so he must have been living a normal life of some kind..I'm not sure he is who he says he is...And asking for money on line seems wrong in many ways...For all we know the guy isn't even homeless or jobless...

alyceclover said...

I was curious to know if Kevin replied to your offer of respite from the streets. I do not read his blog everyday anymore. Usually pop by once a week to see what's new. He may have lost some readers by turning off comments. Some people just came by to diss him or argue.

We have something called our comfort zone. It was causes abused children to grow up in abusive marriages. People do not do that intentionally. We attract people to recreate our childhood family. We do not move to a new city, state or country.

I offered, via a comment, my analysis of one of those commenter's. The way I saw it, the blogger was Kevin's Dad. What is the reason people feel the best way to help someone is by constantly picking them apart and telling them "you are no good". Or Kevin was in his comfort zone with the person.

The other difference I see between you and Kevin is I do not think he drinks alcohol. His struggles are different than yours.

Portia said...

There is certainly hope for you!

Cin said...

Yes, there is hope for you! Like one of the other comments said, keep your goals in focus.

Barb said...

Andrew,
I find some of Kevin's tactics a bit immoral, and not my style, but I do know that his mental illness is real. Diagnosing him is vertually impossible via the internet. He gets the fill of what he wants and needs from the people that enable him, by giving him money and visiting his blog. Which is a shame.

B~

Barb said...

Andrew,

I am sorry for thinking only of Kevin, and not of you and your question. "Is there hope for me?"
As God as my witness and my saviour, absolutely, there is an amazing amount of hope for you. I believe in you, and trust that you are on the path to something big. I will keep watch to see what is in your bag of tricks. (big smile)
B~

jrlmx2 said...

Barb is SO right, Andrew! You're on the right track! Keep the hope alive. HOPE does not disappoint. You're a unique creation of God and He knows the next chapter for you. I liked what you said earlier about God working in your life when you started having anxiety attacks. You're just at the end of 7 weeks of sobriety! Way to go, man! If that isn't God's hand holding yours, I don't know what is!! Just keep making the right choices, like you are!

blessings to you--

ac said...

There is as much hope for you as there is for the rest of us... and that is TONS! One day at a time kiddo. ODAAT! ac

justLacey said...

Ryan,
Homeless guy used to allow comments, but the ones I read were pretty harsh and deservedly so I think.
Andrew,
Hope springs eternal. Without hope where would we all be? Everyone feels like quitting when the newness of a job wears of and it becomes boring and routine. Most of us can't though and I have found myself that when things get to that point, something always changes and we press on. You will too. The fact that you can see these things now in your personality makes the difference. if you didn't recognize them you couldn't change them.

Berryvox said...

Hmm, I can understand wanting a nomadic lifestyle free from the bonds of a 9-5 job. But not like The Homeless Guy's. Hobopoet, yeah. Kevin, no.

I think I actually stumbled onto your blog long, long ago from a link on his. From what little I know about him, he always struck me as somebody who didn't want to be in either his lifestyle or the average person's lifestyle.

I think your desire for a 'normal' lifestyle gives you a far better chance of reaching your goals. And I don't think THG is hopeless either.

Shore said...

It's ok to relate to others. You relate to him because he shares some common problems, but that doesn't mean you have to look up to him and emulate him. He lost me when he got that apartment a few years back and then let it go blaming it on the lack of social services. Bwah! Choose more successful people to emulate.

PipeTobacco said...

Sir:

I am glad to hear you are feeling good and are finding moderation to be pleasant. As you know, I believe moderation in ALL things is key to happiness.

You had not spoken of Luvox previously. If this is a relatively new medication for you, it most certainly is contributing to your more moderate pop drinking and tobacco usage. Luvox is a specialized serotonin reuptake inhibitor compound that has been shown to alter metabolism of both caffeine and nicotine. Basically, it slows the breakdown of these compounds by the liver, and hence you keep a higher effective dosage of caffeine and nicotine in the blood plasma with lower consumption.

Your friend,

PipeTobacco

alyceclover said...

interesting comment from glittermom. Divorce and depression, I believe was brought on his downward spiral to homelessness. He is indeed homeless.

His original blog is no longer available online. You probably would not understand, glittermom what it is like getting off a bus, walking, blistered feet and other stuff he used to blog about. He was in San Diego at that time.

I am not into religion, but I think it was Jesus who said ask and ye shall receive. No offense to Andrew, but Kevin does not have a mother or Uncle Charlie filling the 'frig. Is that all that different?