Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Rosa was being kind of demure on the phone early this morning.  Lots of sexual innuendo going on.  I wasn't interested and wanted to talk about homelessness.

"You are obsessed," Rosa finally told me. "All you think about is homelessness."

I just smiled, hung up the phone, and went to tell Maggie I loved her.  Maggie loves me, obsessions and all.

This morning no one was down at the shopping center which was odd.  I was feeling overly social and wanted to live vicariously through Ferret's experiences.  I wanted to hear all about the beer he drank the previous night.  The sleeping in his tent.  That first cup of alcoholic coffee in the morning he always has.  I started to realize Rosa was right.  I have an unhealthy obsession about things homeless and Ferret in general.  Why couldn't I get obsessed by online competitive gaming or the stock market?  Why couldn't I get obsessed about the game of life like normal people which involved getting married, working and talking about jobs, making money and paying bills, and gathering material goods?  I guess I am just not made that way.

Dexter walked up just as I was leaving.  He had a big goofy grin on his face and wanted to talk. 

"I-I-I g-g-got a job!" he stuttered excitedly.  It was picking up the parking lot over at restaurant row. 

"Great," I thought. "Dexter is retarded and can get a job, but no one will hire me."

I am putting all my eggs in the basket that is vocational rehabilitation.  I will do anything.  I just want to make money again.  That needs to be my obsession.  I have little bills and could live very comfortably off of minimum wage. I picture myself sitting in some factory assembling widgets for an hourly wage -- happy to be getting a paycheck.  


Kelly Jene said...

Get obsessed with whatever it takes to get you to your goal. Work hard at the vocational rehab. I can't wait to hear all about it!

Be excited for Dexter. He wouldn't be eligible for the kinds of jobs you would. It's a good thing he found work.

mosiacmind said...

i agree with kelly jene....i care for you friend!

Sharyna said...

Don't worry you'll be working in no time. We're cheering you on. I'm so excited about it and look forward to new adventures.


Tee said...

Ditto on Kelly Jane. I'm excited for Dexter as well. Encourage him about his new job.

Maufi said...

You will be working in no time, but it sucks having to worry about it.

I've been reading your blog lately and I really enjoy it. thanks.