Rosa was being kind of demure on the phone early this morning. Lots of sexual innuendo going on. I wasn't interested and wanted to talk about homelessness.
"You are obsessed," Rosa finally told me. "All you think about is homelessness."
I just smiled, hung up the phone, and went to tell Maggie I loved her. Maggie loves me, obsessions and all.
This morning no one was down at the shopping center which was odd. I was feeling overly social and wanted to live vicariously through Ferret's experiences. I wanted to hear all about the beer he drank the previous night. The sleeping in his tent. That first cup of alcoholic coffee in the morning he always has. I started to realize Rosa was right. I have an unhealthy obsession about things homeless and Ferret in general. Why couldn't I get obsessed by online competitive gaming or the stock market? Why couldn't I get obsessed about the game of life like normal people which involved getting married, working and talking about jobs, making money and paying bills, and gathering material goods? I guess I am just not made that way.
Dexter walked up just as I was leaving. He had a big goofy grin on his face and wanted to talk.
"I-I-I g-g-got a job!" he stuttered excitedly. It was picking up the parking lot over at restaurant row.
"Great," I thought. "Dexter is retarded and can get a job, but no one will hire me."
I am putting all my eggs in the basket that is vocational rehabilitation. I will do anything. I just want to make money again. That needs to be my obsession. I have little bills and could live very comfortably off of minimum wage. I picture myself sitting in some factory assembling widgets for an hourly wage -- happy to be getting a paycheck.