Sunday, January 6, 2008

More on Medications...

I am noticing a big positive effect from my medications lately. For example, I am drinking only 12 diet Cokes a day. I attribute this to my Luvox. I was drinking 24 regular Cokes a day. I am also smoking less. I used to smoke two cartons a week and now I am down to one. This makes me so hopeful that I can live a moderate life.

For too long, my life has been a life of extremes. Extreme spending. Extreme poverty. Extreme paranoia. Extreme drinking. Extreme smoking. I have always been an all or nothing kind of fellow -- the kind of soul that is always burning his candle at both ends. It is amazing I still have my health and sanity these days.

The Lithium is serving to moderate my moods. I have an evenness of feelings these days. Not the deep, dark depressions interspersed with wild mania. My doctor says I am schizo-affective -- having symptoms of both schizophrenia plus bi-polar disorder.

It still amazes me I have gone so long without drinking. For most of my adult life, I lived to get drunk. My life was one drunken binge after another. I thought today that maybe God was working in my life when I started having those terrible anxiety attacks from drinking. I cringe when I think about drinking now. Those anxiety attacks were some of the scariest things I have ever experienced. Much worse than anything I encountered from my unwell mind and the schizophrenia. I thought I was dying every time an attack would come on.

9 comments:

impromptublogger said...

Holy smokes! 24 cans of Coke a day? No wonder you have trouble sleeping at night. Plus that much caffeine can definitely get your system in overdrive- hence some of the panic attacks.

Nonetheless - I am so so proud of you! It is amazing what the right meds can do - proving it IS a chemical imbalance and not a mental weakness. My own dh has been through that with the depression, now he is on Cymbalta which has done wonders for him. He still has some sleep disorder problems, but he has functioning just fine again these days.

Congrats on 47 days!!! That is so so great!

mosiacmind said...

Yahoo for going without drinking for so long...also I agree with impromtoblogger that hoepfully you can see this as a chemical inbalance and NOT a mental weakness.I used to drink that much pop but am trying to not drink as much as I used to but now I have a new addiction and that is bubble gum...o.k. yes better than some things that i have done in the past! i also know for me getting back to coke drinking my body that coke does not hype me up but calms me down so am thinking that perhaps that is what your body does on caffeine........what do you think? hope that you have a good day...............

Irishcoda said...

Way to go, Andrew, 47 days and counting! It all comes down to--one day at a time. That's what I say to myself all the time. I haven't had a drink in over 25 years. Hang in there and be gentle with yourself, 'k? I'm glad the meds are helping :)

lynn said...

I know that God will work in your life if you truly seek him.

I am glad things are going well.
Charlotte

Annabel said...

I am certain that God is working in your life. I've been praying for you for a long time. I'm proud of your efforts, Andrew. It is good to see you doing so well and realizing it yourself. Keep up the good work.

Portia said...

You have made great strides...congratulations on 47+ days!!

Cin said...

I have been keeping an eye on that counter of yours. I think that is great! I can identify with the anxiety attacks. Those can be terrible sometimes.

Lev said...

If you ever decide to quit smoking Chantix Works wonders. I recently quit and I have been smoke free for 2 months. I have not had extreem cravings since day 1.

Good Luck.

Sha said...

I've taken a quick look at your blog and wondered if you might be interested in entering a blogging competition that I'm hosting.