Thursday, January 3, 2008

Cold Comfort...

It was cold down at the shopping center today.  So cold that my coffee would only stay hot for a short time.  Ferret joined me as we shivered and sat just outside the automatic doors of the grocery store.  With each opening of those doors, we would get a blast of warm and comforting air. It felt wonderful.

Ferret was drinking today as is pretty common for him.  He was pouring liberal dollops of Southern Comfort liquor into his coffee.  My old alcoholic brain went into overtime as various drunken scenarios played out in my mind.  That alcoholic coffee sure looked good.   I would have loved nothing more than to take a few stiff drinks to chase the cold away.  I didn't though.  I've come too far. I am too scared of those terrible anxiety attacks that the alcohol brings on. 

Me and Ferret got on the subject of my Rosa while we sat.  A subject dear to my heart. 

"You two just seem right for each other," Ferret told me of Rosa, slurring his words.

"Thanks.  She's just so much older than me though," I replied. "That worries me."

"You are lucky, man," Ferret said. "That woman loves you. I wouldn't worry about the age."

"I want to have kids someday and Rosa is way past having kids," I replied selfishly.

"You can always adopt," Ferret said and Ferret was right. "People put too much emphasis on having kids anyway."

Big S showed up for a short while.  He was listening to his walkman and smoking cigarettes.  The cold chased him back home, though, to his sister and her five kids.  Me and Ferret both chuckled as we saw Big S slink across the parking lot headed for home.  It always amazes me how much Big S walks for being so overweight.  

The cold finally got to me as well.  I shivered as I bid Ferret goodbye and walked home listening to that spurious right-wing talk radio -- the only thing on the radio these days.  I scoffed so many times listening -- wondering who in the hell actually believes all that propaganda and bullshit.  People do, though, and hang on their every word. I listen for the comedy factor. 

11 comments:

justLacey said...

Ferret is right, people do put too much emphasis on having kids. It's a lot of work and sometimes heartache. Sure there are times they are fun, but I'm not sure if it equals out. Then they grow up and go off and have their own lives. I'd say most of it is overrated.

pai said...

"spurious right-wing talk radio ... wondering who in the hell actually believes all that propaganda and bullshit."

I do. And I'm NOT trying to start something - read this comment as lighthearted. I don't believe it all and I am sure you don't believe everything "lefties" do either. Just remember it all depends on your point of view. No one's got the market on being right (or wrong for that matter).

Leah Friedman said...

Andrew, age is just a number. I'm 18 going on 45. Felt old most of my short life and have never related well to anyone my age.If Rosa makes you happy that's all that matters.

mosiacmind said...

Age is just a number I agree and also adoption might be am option also just thought that perhaps Rosa and you can take care of her grandchild. i was thinking about my own stuff going on in my head and i need to take one day at a time and thinking all of us who struggle with addictions need to do one day at a time or even an hour or such..........NOT trying to tell you not to think of those things just encouraging you as I am TRYING TO encourage myself to take one day at a timel

Ally0005 said...

Adoption is not as easy as you may think. Both of my children were adopted as babies and the Social workers put me and my husband through hell because we had divorces in our past. I understand why they did that but it was very hard to answer personal questions.
With your medical issue and Rosa drug use I doubt they would consider you for adoptive parents, not trying to be negative here just know how it is.
People do put too much emphasis on having kids.

SOUL: said...

dang.. i got cold AND thirsty reading this...
:))
how is your day goin?
maggie looks pretty good up there on top of your page.
take care, and stay warm!

STACY'S TRIP said...

I am making it to a meeting tonight Andrew. Wish me luck man

STACY'S TRIP said...

I am making it to a meeting tonight Andrew. Wish me luck man

Joshua said...

Right there, Buddy! PALAVROSSAVRVS REX!

cyotteeflower said...

AJ you said,"my Rosa" and I smiled.

ac said...

My new (year and eight months) husband is 14 years younger than me. This bothers me not at all. I don't think age matters. It's how the two of you get along... and do you respect each other... From what I know of Rosa, I think she's the bees knees!