Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Talk. Talk. Talk. I just feel like talking.

Well, I managed to hike six miles this morning. I hike around three miles an hour for a total of two hours walking. I already feel better. Those endorphins were really flowing across my synapses. I needed a purpose to my life. That is what I miss most about working -- the structure it gives you. I am still kicking around volunteer ideas. My ex-wife no longer works at the library (she recently quit) so I may ask them. The humane society volunteer position petered out. They only had around twenty dogs and were having to find things for me to do. With my social anxieties, it made me extremely uncomfortable as if I was a burden to them. I spent most of my time standing around with nothing to do with my hands in my pockets. I can do that at home. Volunteer positions at the hospital were only for one day a week at four hours a day manning the reception desk. There was a waiting list of elderly people lined up to volunteer. I also got discouraged when the lady said I needed a letter from my doctor saying I was able to volunteer. I am tired of asking permission to just live my life. I can be bitter sometimes about how my mental illness moniker follows me around like a black cloud and rains on my parade.

My last post bothers me. I felt I was too opinionated. I feel my opinion is marginalized due to my life and lifestyle. As if it doesn't matter. I don't mean to pick on "The Homeless Guy." It is just that he is the most visible homeless person I know. Search for "homeless" in Google and his blog is the sixth entry. A lot of people go to him for ideas and opinions on homelessness and don't realize they are being fed a line of bullshit. Enough said on that, though.

My ad campaign is floundering. I've only made $25 dollars this month. Last month I made $60 and the check will be here the first of January. There is a fine line between adding a bunch of fancy banner ads that draw people's attention and just adding some text ads that don't pay squat. I miss my Google Adsense ads. They paid well and paid for every thousand that visited. I was making hundreds of dollars. As with everything in life, all good things must come to an end.


Barb said...

I senced that reading some of his blog, how he gets the good of readers and requests stuff.


justLacey said...

How come you can't do Adsense anymore? You know I don't like The Homeless Guy blog. I don't agree with him at all.

madamspud169 said...

Have you tried asking at the local soup kitchen for the homeless or whatever you have in your state?
Perhaps helping those who are going through some of what you have gone through would help you as well as them.

I'm sure the local Goodwill could always do with some help too or maybe talk to someone at your local church that helps people.

Just a few ideas, I hope they give you some idea. Also they may understand your personal issues more than other places would.


you have a right to write whatever you's your words your thoughts and there's absolutely no wrong in that.

I know, with the google ad things it doesn't make it easy to dispute the claim either..impossible to find a way to contact them..and well, I understand. :)


Kelly Jene said...

Have you thought of the pay per post ads? You can make good money and you're a great writer. You have the audience for it, that's for sure.

Take care!

Cheryl said...

I forgot about your ex working at the library when I suggested it. Maybe now? Like you said, you need purpose. The right thing is out there, you just need to find it.

Glad you're walking. It's snowed here the entire day, although it only accumulated about 2 inched. Very pretty and I've been thinking of how much you'd enjoy it.

thailandchani said...

Found you via One Plus Two and I'm glad to see that you write about homelessness so honestly. I'll definitely be back.

CJM-R said...

It is hard to volunteer when they can't keep you busy enough.

It is good to have the structure of something to do and a place to go to everyday, or even a couple of days. Hope you can find the spot where you feel comfortable and they can give you enough to do!