Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Phone Calls from the Cherished

I got a phone call from a cherished friend within moments of posting the post about me rashly leaving and living homeless.  They had gone through something similar with a stolen car and it encouraged me to think more clearly.   I just feel so violated and bereft.  Emotionally spent.  My mental illness only complicates matters as I have these dark and negative voices telling me that it is my fault and it is what I deserve.  

Things I am doing to take care of myself...

  • I put a microwave meal in the microwave to cook and it should be ready soon.  I haven't eaten all day. 
  • I am drinking diet cokes today instead of regular.  
  • I am trying my best to think of the positives in my life and not the negative.
  • I realized that maybe I can get a ride to Vocational Rehabilitation.  Where I used to live, a neighbor up the street drove a bus for that agency.    

Usually, when something calamitous happens it is because of some stupid shit I did.  Someone stealing my car was not my fault. 


jen said...

so sorry about the car. it's important to remember in these difficult moments that at the end of the day, you are ok. this will work itself out. it's hard, but it's true.

i am really sorry about your car.

CJM-R said...

Whew, glad you were able to answer the phone when your friend called.

I was very worried about you when I read that post. When I checked back and it was gone, I was hoping that you had reconsidered.

You are having a tough day. Losing a car is a big thing. You can get through this.

Glad to see your list and that you are back on track.

Have a good night.

Blue Gardenia said...

Maybe you drove your car somewhere and then walked home by mistake. It is easy for me, when psychotic, to lose my car. It seems ridiculous but I am always losing my possessions.

Ally0005 said...

I’ve read your blog for about 6 months now but never posted as I never felt I had anything to say until now. Being negative will kill you trust me, I know. Every day you have to think about the good in your life because we always have something good happening in our life along with the bad.
I feel your father was wrong when he blamed you about your car being stolen it was not your fault. You didn’t tell those people to come and steal your car.
Parents tend to think they are helping their child by saying negative things, they’re not. It takes 9 positive statements to undo one negative.
We have all felt like running away but you cannot run from yourself.
I enjoy reading your blog and hope you keep writing.

Cheryl said...

Not your fault. You are the victim. Stay strong Andrew. You are a good and deserving person.

justLacey said...

Just a temporary setback. The insurance will take care of it. Did you have car rental coverage? That will help as you can have transportation until it's taken care of. I'm glad you had a call from a little angel. Sometimes things happen just when we need them. You will fell better after eating too.

Anonymous Boxer said...

someone stole my boxing gear last August... just my gear, not a CAR, and it put me a dark funk for weeks. It's a terrible feeling and I'm so sorry this happened.

I'm so glad you answered your phone to the angel who reached out to you... that is a true friend.

and congrats on switching from regular coke to diet. If you get heahaches, it's from the lack of sugar... so be aware and take some aspirin.

Tee said...

I so sorry your car has been stolen--it's not your fault! Check with your agent to see if you have coverage that will provide a rental vehicle until you car can be replaced or returned.

anonymous said...

Yes it is your fault that your car was stolen, man up Andrew...YOU LEFT YOUR CAR UNLOCKED AND THE KEYS IN IT!!!

My brand new laptop was stolen this summer because I left the doors unlocked. It was completely my own fault.

I'll bet that when you go out of your house that you leave your house unlocked too.