I think I've done pretty well settling back into the bachelor's life. I still hear from Rosa often on the phone, but make no qualms about wanting to be single now. Loneliness hits at times, but I usually throw myself into hiking, this blog, or with keeping up with email.
I talked to Rosa a short while ago. Not long after my mother had left.
"I've got some extra money this month," she told me. "You want to go to the movies tonight?"
"I don't have much gas," I replied, and I didn't. My car's gas gauge is hovering above empty.
"How 'bout you cook us a meal? I would love your spaghetti."
"Nah, I don't feel like doing all that tonight," was my reply. "I just kinda want to be alone tonight."
"Call me if you change your mind," she said disheartened and hung up.
I've found my life is better the simpler it is. I have also found I have far less urges to drink now that I am single and not burdened with the complexities of a relationship. That old AA saying about waiting a year before dating is true. It certainly is easier to stay sober single. I will be going on eighteen days without a drink tomorrow. Well over two weeks and I am pleased as punch. I haven't been prouder about something in years. It gives me hope that I can learn to live without my old crutch, alcohol. Every day is a gift -- a gift of sobriety, and I don't want to do anything to upset that.