Felt as if I was having an out-of-the-body experience today. I felt like a third person watching my life unfold. My concentration is totally lost, thus my lack of updates lately.
"What have you been smoking?" Ferret asked me this afternoon as I was wasting time at the shopping center.
"Nothing," I replied defensively. "I am stone cold sober."
"You are acting as if you are high on pot."
Ferret studied my eyes for the tale tales signs of them being bloodshot. My eyes were as white as the clouds in the sky.
"Something's different about you," he said.
"I quit taking five of my medications," I replied. "It is going to take some time to come down from them. Four to six weeks I read online."
"You know what happens to me when I don't take my meds," Ferret said, looking concerned.
"You usually end up sleeping in a tent down by the river," was my reply. And I was right. Ferret always ends up homeless and his drinking gets exponentially worse.
Ferret and I talked a long time about the side effects of our medications.
"I am tired of feeling flat and lifeless," I said. "I want to feel all my emotions, good and bad."
"Let's just hope the bad doesn't outweigh the good," Ferret replied snarkily.
I am also noticing strange things happening with my body. My sense of smell and taste have improved ten fold. Almost to the point of being overbearing. I can sleep twelve hours a day. I've become a much more emotional creature. My laughing has never been so jovial and felt so good, and my despair has never felt so dark and deep. The pendulum that is my emotive life is swinging long and hard these days.