Thursday, November 22, 2007

They Who Never Grew Up...

"They (being the doctors) are not going to let me out for Thanksgiving!" Joyce told me worriedly over the phone line last night. "I am going to check out against doctor's orders."

"Joyce, now that would be unwise," I replied. "You will just have to go back in and start over in a few days."

"But I don't want to miss my Thanksgiving!" she said, pleadingly.

I have often said that having a mental illness means you never grew up like a normal person. You are forever stunted both emotionally and mentally. 61 year old Joyce reminded me of a small child wanting to come home from school, sick. I don't blame her. Psychiatric hospitals can be mind numbingly boring places with little to do except watch television.

"All these therapy groups are driving me crazy," she then said. "They even had us bowling with plastic bowling kits today! Isn't that just ridiculous?"

"Give it two more days," I replied, steadfastly. "You still sound really manic."

"Okay," she said, sadly. "Two more days then I am coming home."

I told her me and her sister would come and pick her up this weekend. I hung up and mused over the fact that mentally ill people are forever emotionally and socially stunted without intensive rehabilitation and help. We lost life skills years ago, or never learned them. Just interacting with a loved one or friend can be tedious and laborious as we bumble through these complicated social interactions. I am thirty five years old and still cower to my father as if I were fourteen all over again. I don't know how to change that without deep personal turmoil and strife. It all seems rather daunting and will be food for thought, today.


abbagirl74 said...

Good Morning.


Love ya!

LoriAnn said...

Andrew - Happy Thanksgiving, love. I know you're having a wild time right now and are worried you will lose your readership if you don't just type in happy, fluffy things...but I don't think that's true. We're along for the ride - the good and the bad.

Now, about getting your camera back...can you put your "donate" thing back on your website? I'm happy to help get your camera back as I LOVE your pix. Please?

Blue Gardenia said...

Happy Thanksgiving. This post contains great insight on Mental Illness. I forgot a lot of skills I once had. It is a horribly slow process of trying to regain them.


Happy Thanksgiving Dear pal!
Too bad you couldn't bring thanksgiving to her..or maybe when she is home the two of you have your own friendship thanksgiving?

Thinking of you And wishing you well! Thankful that you're already on day 2!! I'm thankful to know you and have you as a friend!
Crusty~ :)


P.S. Great picture..reminds me of snow..which we did get..but nothing was really wet and light and tiny this time..but soon...!! :)

CJM-R said...

Happy Thanksgiving Andrew!

It is good that you can help set those boundaries with Joyce and guide her to do what is in her best interests. That is what good friends do for one another.

By the way, up to chapter 12! That is quite an accomplishment!


justLacey said...

Perhaps Joyce has been put in your life to show you the other side of the coin. Everyone has their purpose in your life and maybe she is there to give you just a glimpse of what your dad is feeling and dealing with. Remember too, that he has both you and your mother to watch over. Be thankful of that and of all the little lessons that life shows you. I hope you have a safe and peaceful Thanksgiving.

cyotteeflower said...

Thinking of you on this holiday and hoping you are surrounded by family and food.

Rhette said...

HiYa Andrew :)
Time to eat the turkey! I hope your day goes well. You can look forward to Joyce coming soon & having a friend close by.

But mostly I wish you good health & Gods arms holding you tightly with lots of hugs knowing so many people are thinking of you.

I sent email your way, I hope you'll read it :)


Kelly Jene said...

I'm glad you convinced her to stay, I really hope it will benefit her. I can slightly, only slightly, know what you mean about being somewhat emotionally stunted. I faced abuse as a child and parts of my personality are still very much stuck as the terrified 11 year old I was, especially when it comes to my father... like you.

Hugs my friend!