Saturday, November 3, 2007

Temptation Blue...

It was a foggy morning as I set out for my early morning walk. The fog rolling in off the Chattahoochee river. It was almost surreal walking through that mist as it beaded on my jacket and rolled off. I had been down to see my favorite convenience store clerk and it wasn't a kind meeting. He was trying to entice me into having a beer to feel better. He just didn't understand alcoholism which is common for many.

"Maybe a couple of drinks will make you feel better," he told me as we stepped back to the beer cooler.

He pulled out a six-pack of Heineken knowing it was my favorite.

"Go ahead," he said. "It's on me. A couple of drinks won't hurt."

I thanked him for his kindness as that is what he meant and put the beer back up.

"I have to abstain," I said, not believing I passed up free beer without a dime to my name. "I think it will cause the anxiety attacks to become worse and I become a different person when drunk."

"I'm just trying to help," he said as he smiled.

"I understand," I replied, biting my tongue that he was about to destroy weeks of sobriety.

I quickly left the convenience store wondering if I would ever return. This was such a surprising turn of events. My friend meant well, but was misguided. He thought the beer would calm me and help assuage what has been ailing me.

"I thought alcoholics drank," he quipped as I walked out of the store.

Choose your friends wisely...I thought.

I walked on down to the railroad tracks and sat on the bench in front of the train museum smoking cigarettes. I realized I just can't take a lot going on becoming dizzy with thoughts and desires. Those old urges to drink were in full force and I debated on walking back up to the store to get that beer before my friend got off of work and the chance was lost. Amazingly, I resisted the urge and left the museum to walk on home. Broken glass shimmering like little jewels on the sidewalk as I walked in the lights of the many fog encircled street lamps. I arrived home and ate an apple danish and a glass of milk for breakfast.

Started a new ad campaign this morning. I get to pick and choose which ads I display. Let me know what would interest you. I would appreciate it. I had to talk to a representative on the phone about getting enrolled and setting everything up which was an interesting twist for an ad company. It certainly is overly complicated to put ads up having so many to choose from.


Beautifully Profound said...


Very very proud of you Andrew.


simonsays said...

Way to go Andrew, WAY TO GO!

Mary said...

One step at a time - one victory at a time. You made a brave decision this morning and scored another victory. Congrats!

I check your blog every morning hoping to find a description of your morning walk. Your words paint a picture - this morning I could almost feel the cool mist.

Thinking good thoughts for you and picturing you and Maggie having a happy weekend.

Josie Two Shoes said...

What wonderful news to start my day with! I know how hard it had to be for you to walk away from that beer - but you did it! A victory for Andrew! Isn't it sad how many people still don't understand the concept of alcoholism and the damage that just one drink can do? Choose your friends wisely indeed! Even if meant well, you don't need that kind of temptation.

Do you earn money just by us clicking on the ads? If so, we can all help you out a little by doing that!

Shelly said...

SO proud of you Andrew. Well done for walking away... That's what it's all about - living from moment to moment, doing the best that you can.

Much love to you :-))

Anonymous Boxer said...

I lke the Learning Tree ad - it's positive.

mapiprincesa! said...

Again, I rock.

M said...

I could tell right away that the ads had been bumped up a notch when I visited your blog!

The Estee Lauder lip balm caught my attention. But then, my lips are always dry!


hmm, ads? I'm for anything that has to do with moms and depression and so self help books. :) Btw..I think I have a good job opportunity for you..but I'll talk to you via email about it later on.

justLacey said...

Choose your friends wisely. I can see your are finally getting it. I know you feel in turmoil Andrew, but you really are making progress. Surround yourself with those you aspire to be like and it will help. I know you miss your old friends, but new ones can be good too.
Go ahead on over next door and check on your neighbor. You will be able to tell if she wants to be left alone and like you, will appreciate the kindness of someone that cares. Your photos are very pretty. Next time you feel the urge to drink. Take your Canon out and focus on taking pictures. Maybe something that relates to how you or feeling or even how you woud like to feel. Show us all the places you have told us about.