Monday, November 19, 2007

Marauding Possums...

"Are you sure?" I asked Joyce last night.

"It's in my closet," she said animatedly. "There's a possum in my closet!"

I couldn't find anything. I then realized Joyce was seeing things -- her mental illness playing tricks on her mind.

"I got it out," I then said, walking back into her den. "The possum is gone."

"Oh thank you!" she said, hugging me firmly. "I thought I was never going to get any sleep."

I, too, hallucinate with my mental illness. I see what I call ghosting -- ghostly visages of cats laying around my house. It used to scare me, but I've grown so used to it these past few years. Certain medications also exacerbate these effects like pain pills.

"I don't know what I would do without you," Joyce told me as we sat on her couch with her head on my shoulder. I stayed for an hour until she had gone back to sleep. I pulled her quilt over her as she lay on her couch, and then crept out her back door, locking it.

I then walked home. It was well after midnight when she had called me. I curled up in the bed with Maggie, thinking about Joyce. I just want her to be okay. Thoughts of make-believe animals inhabiting her dark home paraded through my mind.

Yesterday, I had pleaded with my father vehemently for help with my anxiety attacks.

"We're not calling your brother or sister to bother them," he said firmly. "Your brother is buying a new car and is busy. Besides, you can't have any addictive substances. You go crazy wanting more."

I pleaded some more... "Just two Xanax," I said. "It is the only thing that helps with this."

We drove down to his pharmacy and he gave me a plain white pill to take that looked like an aspirin along with four Tylenol.

"This will make you feel better," he told me as I gulped it down with a swallow of Coke, willing to try anything out of desperation. It made me so sleepy I couldn't stay awake. I realized afterwards that it was an prescription grade antihistamine -- my mouth and nose becoming very dry. It did help with the anxiety and I slept for the rest of the day with sleep being my only respite.

25 comments:

simonsays said...

Once again, you prove what a good friend you truly are. I hope today is a better day for you. :)

justLacey said...

I can see now why you don't have the Benadryl. I forgot you don't have any money and your dad probably wouldn't get it for you to have on hand. I really do feel for you on this.
I'm glad yo uwent over and helped out with Joyce again. I know she appreciates it so much. Probably more than you will ever know. I hope today is a better day for your anxiety. Try and get out and do something to take your mind off of it. Do you have a library close by?

SOUL: said...

whatever works andrew---even i am trying benedryl rather than the xanax..at times. and i have loads of it--it really isnt that great of a med (xanax) to be taking along with addictions. so if you slept with the antihystemine--take what works. k
happy monday.

amelia said...

Get to your own doctor!!!!

You have a car, go there! Tell him what's wrong.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

hmm, Benedryl that's interesting I'll have to remember that for when I get anxious!
So at first you took the tablet thinking it was xanax, is that right? It reminded me of how you helped Joyce with removing the posseum from her closet so to speak...Dumbo and the feather ...
You would honestly make the most loving and attentive father for all the things that you do to help ease fears with people.

Happy Monday Dear Andrew!
Always,
CRusty!

impromptublogger said...

It was nice of you to help Joyce. I do have a REAL possum story of one that got into our garage. At first I didn't know what it was until I saw two red eyes glowing at me. I guess I scared it because I never saw it again!

I hope you are feeling better today.

Josie Two Shoes said...

What a relief that must have been for Joyce, and what an act of kindness on your part, so much gentler and more effective than trying to convince her none existed. I too hope that this day finds you feeling better, Andrew!

Lynette said...

Possoms real or imaginary are nasty little animals. They get into our garbage, it scares the daylights out of me, so I bang on the lid before I open it up. You were a help to Joyce. Good job.

LORD MANILA STONE said...

i just thought that that possum was real, i haven't heard much about this animal, is it a malicious animal just like a skunk, i see that you are still deeply struggling with your addiction, i really hope you can cope with that...

Barb said...

Did the possum bite? LOL

Good friend you are to Joyce...you knew exactly what she needed, and you did it! God is well pleased~

B~

cyotteeflower said...

J,
I wish you were my neighbor.Not to get the animals in my closet.No I want you for your fabulous cooking skills.I'll buy and clean,all you have to do is cook and eat ;-)
Seriously,I just love you.Your kindness and empathy for others always warms my heart.
Happy Monday to you and Maggie!
Billie (beadababe in Mo.)

Portia said...

It does seem to be a unique blessing for you two to be so close. I know you prefer not to sleep your days away, but I'm glad you got some relief from the anxiety you have been feeling.
I hope it's a good evening!

M said...

i get anxiety too so i feel for you! hang in there, Andrew!

Kelly Jene said...

I'm so glad Joyce has you. I remember your doc said benedryl would help, right? Maybe keep some over the counter stuff on hand.

Hugs for you my friend. I hope today is much better.

mosiacmind said...

I wanted to say hi and I am thinking of you. I have used benedryl in the past and it has worked and I have used the generic and it was fine too. I am glad that you and Joyce are neighbors.
Please take great care of yourself!

mago said...

I once saw mean dwarfs when drinking hard. Thankfully that's long gone.

Irishcoda said...

That was good of you to help Joyce...I think it makes a difference when you can put yourself in someone else's shoes. I wish I could do more but I'm praying for you, that you would be relieved from the panic attacks. I have panic attack disorder and I know that they are horrible, debilitating and they can make your life totally miserable. It would be good if you could get to a doctor especially if the attacks are being brought on by the meds you're taking now. Maybe the doctor can adjust them so you're not suffering from those horrible attacks.

Kelly Jene said...

Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you... Take care.

Rhette said...

Andrew,
your awfully quiet today -- I hope all is well with you. I'm happy to hear that the antihistamine gave you some relief, at least you were able to sleep. I pray your night will bring you restful sleep :)

rhette

groundedgrl said...

You remind me, Andrew, how much being in service to others does for me. You truly served Joyce this way. I hope I, and those I love--all of us, always have someone to remove our possums from our closets.

I am taken and inspired by your sensitivity.

AlabamaGal said...

I am glad Joyce has a friend like you. I hope all is well your way.

Good Morning and May today be a good one for you!

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. :)

-Michelle

simonsays said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
simonsays said...

Just checking in, wondering how you are this morning....

Have a good day today.

Tee said...

You are a great neighbor. What a great thing for you to REMOVE the possium from the closed. I would have never thought of that. You are certainly creative. You are sooo right, pain killers can cause bizzar things to happen in the mind. When I had surgery I thought a friend (that had actually visited me) brought me a stuffed dog and the dog came alive and was trying to jump on me. I got out of the bed trying to get away from the dog and FELL! Not good when you have just had your hip replaced. That pain killer is wicked stuff.

You need to talk to your Dr immediately! Ask him if one OTC Benedryl/day will help with the anxiety attacks. Your Dad is overstepping his bounds in the Rx world.

Hoss said...

Longtime reader first time commentor...

Darn, and I was ready to jot off my recipe for possum stew... those little buggars, well, I'm glad they weren't in the house. They can put up one nasty little fight.