Saturday, November 10, 2007


"I should realize you are sick and to not scream at you like I did last night," my father told me. "I am sorry. I just had a terrible day in that drug store. I work so hard. I get so damned tired of working all the time."

"It's okay, dad. I love you and just want us to be okay," I replied.

"Will you at least take your anti-psychotic? Please take the Risperdal," my father pleaded with me.

I took the little white pill and you could see a wave of relief come over my father. I was just so paranoid all those medications were causing my panic attacks. I have felt so much better without them. I compromised and will take that one pill -- the one pill I know that helps with my schizophrenia. I have never had side effects from my Risperdal.

"I brought you some cokes," he then said with a smile much to my joy. "I know how much you love them. I am going to get you some groceries, too."

"Joyce brought me groceries," I replied. "Although it is an eclectic mix of things. I have enough mac and cheese to feed an army."

We talked for a long time about my neighbor, Joyce. My father is very worried about her. They went to high school together and have known each other for 30 or more years. Joyce struggles so and it reminds me of myself.

"You be her friend," he told me. "You be there for her. She doesn't have anybody. It is unique you two live next to each other. Fate had a hand in that."

I promised my father I would. He left me to curl up on the couch to watch The Weather Channel. I could soon feel the medication start to take effect and the paranoia I had been dealing with all day started to melt away. Compromise. Simple, yet so hard to do.



I'm so glad that your dad has lightened up a bit..He is absolutely correct, he doesn't need to yell at you, you're a grown man and have a right to be able to communicate when you're not happy with things!

I hope Joyce is alright. It's interesting the pay it forward approach. dad helps you, and you in turn pay it forward by being there for she has for you and will most likely do for others.
Have a great saturday!
I hate to tell you this, but I'll be taking a train ride today..can you hear the sounds of the tracks rattling underneath your feet? I can't wait! Heading into chicago to spend day with mom, 2sisters and niece...Train ride I'm looking forward too, the other stuff, well, it's all girlie doll stuff, and umm, last time I checked, I don't have girls..but it will be good to have more memories with mom..sorry to be a soaprant in your box. Have a great Saturday!
I'll beeeeeee baaaaaaaaaack to RYL! :)


P.S. I want one of those massage chairs! I wonder if Cheryl will too when she see's them..they look awesome. Wish I could but that would be a silly expense,..they do look inviting though!!

Kath said...

"I'm sorry." Also "Simple, yet so hard to do" for some folks. Glad your Dad is able to say it. Make good choices and show him your compromise is what's right for you at this time.

Oh, and make these Cokes last! Think how long they'd last you if you didn't have 24 in one day.

KYRIE said...

Yeah!! I am glad for u! I am glad u worked it out. I know u will.
Have a pleasant day Andrew!!

justLacey said...

Now this makes me happy. You and your father have come to a very good compromise I think. Perhaps the Risperdal is all you need and I like the fact that your father has agreed on that. Now you have cokes and groceries and this is the start to a nice weekend don't you think?

Anonymous said...

I think your dad is very scared that you are going to spiral down to some of the bad places hes has seen you in without medications. Your family has seen where you have been and don't want you to go there again. That's why he panics when you threaten to stop all meds. Your mental illness makes you think your family and the meds are your enemy, somehow wanting to drug you up. Not that you shouldn't get checked by your physician to make sure you are on the best prescription plan for you. But, being a parent, I think like one, and can't help thinking of the fear they must have for you, when you have been doing so well. And, although we all make mistakes (that was good of your father to apologize), they obviously love you and care very much about your well-being.

Summer said...

Morning sweetness. Thanks for stopping by today and leaving me a comment that made me smile.

I so want you to have a harmonious relationship with your dad. I know it's not easy for you. It's good to read though that the two of you continue to make an effort.

I have a silly thought that we should all have one day a week where everything is easy and happy. Weren't Sundays originally intended for that?

Nikita said...

Hello Andrew...thank you for your message! I did pop-in, but didn't have time to leave comments as I was busy figuring out how to export my chess games (like on my blog) to get them work in Word Press. I want to move my blog to wordpress and have 2 people helping me with it..(the chess games) WP don't have plug-ins for such things, only if you pay for a blog and I don't want to pay for just a few ramblings...anyway...let's start a chess game! you don't have to be online the same time as I will be!! Register on the on the right of my's free too and a lovely newish site...let me know what your nickname is and i will invite you immediately!! I do play another site too, but you have to pay can play as a guest, but you don't have access to all features as on the site where it is free for everything...even a blog if you wanna blog there...apart from sorting out the wordpress-thing, i was a bit unwell too, yesterday the worst, but i am OK now, nothing to worry about....i think the time difference is about 5 hours between us and i do play many Americans...Ohio...etc till about 11ish at night...(on the other site) time is no'mon, stop being lazy and get registered, looking forward to get your message today with your nickname!! :) take care! Nikita!

Kelly Jene said...

Good morning Friend! I am glad you two were able to compromise. Hopefully it will be a growing trend with your dad.

Anonymous said...

Re: Summer's comment; I don't think Sundays were originally intended for "easy and happy". They were intended for worship of God and rest from the day to day.

Sharyna said...

Risperdal is a good drug though I didn't like it. I'm thinking of going off some of my drugs. I want my sexuality back.



We all have that Grass is greener approach..and that's all I've got to say about that.

Now I'm off to eat a box of chocolates!!