Friday, November 2, 2007

Admitted We Were Powerless...

I started Pipe Tobacco's water drinking campaign this morning. I hate water and usually only drink sodas. I also took three Tylenol and two aspirin. Hoping the aspirin would calm me somewhat and the Tylenol would take away this feverish feeling I am having.

A.A. last night was wonderful. The hour passed by in a blink. I left the house at about twenty till to walk over there. Just after my mother had left for the night. We talked of step one once again. Admitting we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable. It is hard admitting you are powerless over something for most, but comes easy to me. I know I am powerless and need help.

"Step one is the step to a new life," Sandy said. "You do have to work the steps, but step one is the beginning and sometimes the hardest step to believe in."

I agreed. Other than my anxiety attacks, my life has grown so much more serene lately. Full of solace. I was talking to my mother about it last night.

"Your father says it is your medications he has been giving you and not A.A. for the reason you are feeling better," she said.

"I disagree," I replied, careful not to cast aspersions on my medications. "A.A. has helped me tremendously."

The meeting ended with passing the donation basket and saying The Lord's Prayer. We all held hands and stood in a circle -- the circle of sobriety. I felt that if I continue to go to these meetings and work the steps earnestly that I was going to be okay. There is hope for this old drunk yet.

9 comments:

nameless to protect the innocent said...

The first thing I do every morning is check in on you, Andrew.

I feel like I'm watching a story unfold....the story of a man trying to fit inside his own skin and understand the murmurings of his soul.....

Josie Two Shoes said...

Delighted to see your post up! There is plenty of hope for this young man yet, I never doubted it! I am so glad you got to the meeting, and found it meaningful. It will probably be the combination of many things - the AA program, medications, exercise, diet, friends, etc. that will help maintain your resolve and mental focus. You can do this, I know you can! Have a great day, I toast you with one of my many glasses of water. I quit sodas a few years ago because of the caffeine. I sleep so much better without them, and am far less high-strung. You'll get used to the water, add a slice of lemon if it helps! Hugs!

Portia said...

I'm so glad it went well! I will be interested to hear how staying hydrated helps. Josie's lemon idea is a great one, I find water much easier to drink if it tastes like something.

Tee said...

Andrew, you are not an old drunk. You are somebody! So don't forget that! The lemon does help the water. I even add a very small amount of decaf instant tea, lots of lemon and a little Splenda. I know to a southerner like you that instant stuff sounds terrible, but it help me get all the fluids I need to be drinking, because I'm not a real fan of water, it's so boring. I don't drink cokes (sodas), because of the caffine and some other ingredient, I forget the name of it, but it is very bad on your bones. You know to us southerners tea is southern table wine. :-)

Lynette said...

I think it is a combination of all the positive things you are adding to your life that is helping your serenity. Keep on working on this, I love to hear about your good days.

Anonymous Boxer said...

You know what, I'm drinking more water today after Pipe Tobacco's suggestion.

The peace you are feeling is not due to medications, your Father is a Pharmacist, so of course he would think that....serenity comes from the soul.

Have a wondeful Friday.

Kelly Jene said...

I have to agree with Anonymous Boxer. You have peace because you are doing something to help yourself. Be proud of yourself!

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Very very true what Portia and Josie said!! The lemons or limes will add flavor should you tire of drinking water...but Pipe is very accurate..water purifies everything! I hope it helps you!!!
Always,
Crusty!

justLacey said...

Oh you are hadly old yet! There is always hope too. Perhaps the anxiety attacks are there to help reign you back in a little. They have a way of doing that. Life is strange that way. I'm glad you are feeling better. I think it could be a combination of both the medications and the AA. The water will help too. It keeps your system flushed out. After you get used to it, it won't seem such a big deal drinking it. I'm glad you are feeling better.