I started Pipe Tobacco's water drinking campaign this morning. I hate water and usually only drink sodas. I also took three Tylenol and two aspirin. Hoping the aspirin would calm me somewhat and the Tylenol would take away this feverish feeling I am having.
A.A. last night was wonderful. The hour passed by in a blink. I left the house at about twenty till to walk over there. Just after my mother had left for the night. We talked of step one once again. Admitting we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable. It is hard admitting you are powerless over something for most, but comes easy to me. I know I am powerless and need help.
"Step one is the step to a new life," Sandy said. "You do have to work the steps, but step one is the beginning and sometimes the hardest step to believe in."
I agreed. Other than my anxiety attacks, my life has grown so much more serene lately. Full of solace. I was talking to my mother about it last night.
"Your father says it is your medications he has been giving you and not A.A. for the reason you are feeling better," she said.
"I disagree," I replied, careful not to cast aspersions on my medications. "A.A. has helped me tremendously."
The meeting ended with passing the donation basket and saying The Lord's Prayer. We all held hands and stood in a circle -- the circle of sobriety. I felt that if I continue to go to these meetings and work the steps earnestly that I was going to be okay. There is hope for this old drunk yet.