It was a much needed quiet day. I prepared a brimming thermos of hot coffee and just walked to clear my head. The skies were overcast and gray keeping it cool all throughout the afternoon. I kept hoping for a thunderstorm and/or rain. I walked probably six miles this afternoon clearing the cobwebs out of the upper works of my cranium. You could literally see the dust blowing out my ears.
I didn't stop by the shopping center as that usually ends up with me drinking beer or wine. I am trying to be a good young soul and will attend an A.A. meeting tonight as well. I tend to flirt with danger or disaster from time to time and I know it can be exasperating for some of you that have read me a for a long period. It can take years to build up a blog readership and you can destroy this relationship with your readers in a matter of weeks or even days pulling some of the stunts I have lately. I have gone a long way to bringing about the demise of this blog. What surprises me most is that I will unabashedly write about it knowing the consequences when I could just keep it to my self and fall silent. No one, but those in my immediate life would ever know. Most alcoholics spend years trying to hide their disease. I get on a blog with a thousand readers a day and blather about it in vainglorious fashion like some complete idiot -- my own personal Don Quixote complex.
I haven't checked my comments in a better part of a week. I looked today and things were civil. I decided to leave them up for the time being as a forum for my readers to interact within. Someone emailed me telling me the only reason I blog was for attention and that I had been trying to garner attention this past week. I just plainly wrote what is, and didn't embellish. I wasn't even checking my comments. My life, like yours, has it's up and downs, but I usually always come out on the upside. I blog mainly to practice writing, and it helps me to continue this writing experiment knowing someone is enjoying what I write and taking strength from my own trials and tribulations.
My Google Adsense account got suspended. Someone spent the better part of the past few days clicking my advertisements with the same IP address. This raised red flags at Google and they suspended me. It was the only viable way I had of making money besides working a job that wouldn't adversely affect my disability income. For this suspension, I am sad. It was so liberating to be able to make $300 to $400 dollars a month doing something I immensely enjoy, writing. Maybe I will try Yahoo ads.
One of the biggest reasons I started to hang out with the gang again was to get up reasons and material to write. I harbor some strange delusion that all of you want to read about homeless people and drunken debauchery. I realize it was me, and only me, that wanted to read and write that stuff that harkened back to the beginning days of this blog. I also feel I write more creatively and with more passion after a few drinks. Maybe I was wrong. My writing has certainly suffered since this all started, hasn't it? Let's see if I can get this blog back on track along with my personal life. You all are going to get a lot of stories about Alcoholics Anonymous, Rosa, and sobriety as I am an all or nothing kind of fellow. I can't do anything in moderation. I either drink twenty beers or I don't drink at all. I will either not go to A.A. or will go to three meetings a day. Just another day in the life of an obsessive compulsive schizophrenic dude.