My lunchtime journey found me walking through downtown. Trying to appreciate the small things in life. Clara walked along beside me asking me questions.
"You seem determined and fierce today," she said.
"I've got a lot on my mind," was my reply as I steadily walked. "I'm dreamin' up grand plans."
"I am going to sell everything I own and strike out for newer pastures," I said.
"Like a road trip?"
"Yeah, like a road trip."
"Where are you headed?"
"Right here to live in my car," I replied.
"Your fucking nuts!" Clara exclaimed matching my brisk pace.
"It won't be the first nor last time someone has called me that."
"So ya gonna be homeless?"
"Anything is better than what I have now. I don't want that house. I knew there would be a high price to pay to keep it. I didn't realize how high."
Clara grew worried about me as we sat down in the park.
"So your just gonna be homeless like me? Just like that?"
"Yeap," I said as I stifled back a tear, fiercely determined. "It will be my penance to pay."
I had been thinking about it all morning. I realized it was the only way I could reach my father. Then he would maybe see that I was determined not to live the life I was living. And he would do something about it. I don't want to live the next few years of my life with every penny controlled and my every action watched. That and they are forcing handfuls of medications down my gullet every night. I'm breaking free tonight and living in my car starting this evening. I have it all planned out. I will be homeless, but I will be free.