Had another very small A.A. meeting. Only ten showed up. The meeting was up in Lagrange, Georgia and they are renowned for their big and boisterous meetings. I feel like I am entering A.A. at one of it's low points.
I sat and listened to a wonderful man speak. His name was Ken and he had been a lifelong alcoholic. Aren't we all?
"I was blacked out and drove through the store window. I woke up with glass everywhere and broken 12 packs of beer adorning my hood. I knew then I was in deep shit."
The room erupted in laughter. Ken went on to regale us in tales of his alcoholic exploits. This was what I needed to hear. I needed to hear hope and that a terrible alcoholic such as myself could get better and get sober. Far too often, the tales in A.A. are happy and jubilant -- people with seemingly no more problems. I know it is terrible of me, but I need to hear problems right now. I want to know I am not alone in my struggles.
"The police officer handcuffed me and said, 'Boy, you really pulled a number this time.' It was the end of my drinking career. I sobered up in jail and started to attend A.A. meetings. God saw fit to cure me of that terrible desire to drink."
I sat mesmerized as I listened. There was hope for me yet! I had never gotten in more trouble than just your average D.U.I. I had been lucky. I still had so many things. My home. My car. My cherub pup, Maggie. I was going to be okay.
After the meeting, I walked up to Ken to ask him, "Do you still desire to drink?"
"I do sometimes," he said. "Drinking has a way of sneaking up on you. That's why they say to be ever vigilant about alcohol. People, places, and things."
"Thank you," I told him. "You gave me more hope in twenty minutes than I have gotten going to hours of meetings."
He shook my hand and bid me goodbye.
I have a new lawnmower and am just thrilled. My friend, Charlie, has been cutting my grass for me and I felt terrible about it. I had a nice mower, but Rachel got it in the divorce. Dad came by today bringing the mower and a can of gas. I am going to go get busy cutting. My yard needs it!