I have just been so blah about blogging lately. Usually, it is something I immensely enjoy. But lately, it has been hard to write -- everything feeling forced and unnatural. I swear this is a side effect of the numerous medications I am taking. My mind feels buzzy and discombobulated. I read what I write and even I find it uninteresting and milquetoast, and I can usually be very narcissistic about my writings.
I put the advertisements back up to make a few more bucks as well. My father would shit a brick if he knew this. I want to get up the money to buy a new computer. A computer that will last me for another five years like this one has. I have to thank my ex-wife for this wonderful computer that is still fast, but showing it's age.
Seriously considering going invite only. Been really paranoid about comments lately. I haven't even looked at them in days for fear people are writing negative things about me and that everyone is giving me advice on how to live my life. Should I look? I am not sure. I feel so wary about it, scared of what other people think of me and my life. I had an actual physical reaction or anxiety attack about a comment a few days ago and it makes me scared to read them. I wish I would just write a bunch of bullshit and never wrote about having a mental illness or about being an alcoholic.I could just put on a grand facade for the world to see. I blunder on like the proverbial bull in the blogging china shop.
I have a ton of email to respond to. Don't fret. I will get to them soon. My social phobias extend to the online world as well making me not check email very often. I promise I will tackle them in the order they were received. I appreciate those of you that take the time to write me and also to comment.
Checked the tracking online and Clara's sleeping bag should be delivered today. The bag I ordered for her was only $120 dollars, but it's rated down to 20 degrees. It should keep her toasty warm until the coldest part of winter hits. Hopefully, she will have a home by then.