Friday, September 21, 2007

Late but Present

I went running out the door with a sandwich and diet coke in hand. I was starving. "Your forgetting your wallet," Rosa called out after me. I had five minutes to make it to the 7 p.m. A.A. meeting. I walked in the door of the meeting hall just as the chairman opened up the floor for everyone to talk. I took my seat and settled in to listen ten minutes late. I didn't want to go to this meeting at all.

"I wanted to drink all day," a young lady said. "I kept telling myself one day at a time. I only have to go one day without drinking. I don't have to worry about tomorrow. Thank you all for being here for me."

The room erupted in "keep coming back" and "thanks for sharing". We went around the room until it was my time to share.

"Hi. I'm Andrew and I am an alcoholic," I started. "I wanted a drink all day as well. I struggled my ass off. So many times I almost drove down to Fat Albert's to buy a case of beer. I have so much free time on my hands that it drives me crazy. I get stir-crazy. I tell myself that a few drinks will make me feel better -- will pass the time. Anyways, I didn't want to come tonight and they say that is when you most need a meeting. So, here I am. Thanks for giving me a safe place to come to and I am sorry I was late."

Keep coming back and it works if you work it.

I left the meeting feeling one hundred percent better. A calm washed over me and I drove home content after struggling all damn day. I didn't want to go and my going saved my ass today. Just hearing other people share about their trials with alcohol seems to disarm your own urge to drink.

The program of Alcoholics Anonymous is just twelve simple steps -- a guide for alcoholics to live by. Why then do they seem so daunting? I am still struggling with step one -- admitting we were powerless over alcohol. I will just continue to take it one day at time because that is all I have. Today.


Cheryl said...

Just think how much better all of our lives would be if we just took it one day at a time. There's a message in A.A. for all of us. I feel like making a "for today" list right now.

I'm so glad your day turned around.

CJM-R said...

Glad that you have been getting so much out of your meetings.

And on an unrelated note:

Just curious if you are planning to buy the new Joni Mitchell CD when it is released next week?

Josie Two Shoes said...

You didn't want to go, but you did. And it turned out to be the right thing for you tonight. You are learning to listen to the inner voice that guides you Andrew. I smile in understanding.

Anonymous Boxer said...

You said it yourself, you have a lot of time on your hands, so what's the rush with the steps? :-) We're all on different paths and spritiual schedules... The first step of ANYTHING is always the hardest - every day you attend is just one step closer. I'm really impressed.

Davo said...

It seems you worry so much about passing time. At 59 I worry about time passing. At some point you realize your own mortality and time becomes a precious commodity. Maybe that's why I'm happier now than I was 20 years ago, I realize I can't until tomorrow to enjoy my day.


awwwwwwwww, Rosa!! She's always looking out for you!!! I love that about her!
Glad the meeting went well's hard..I can't imagine how hard though!!
Sleep well saturday night!! :)


It has to be it Andrew-one day at a time...