Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Hello, Kermit!

It is a wonderful time of the year. I have all my windows open. The door to my porch is swung wide. A fan is adorning the window in my front bedroom. This will help me save money. My utility bill was $229 dollars last month. Ouch!

I went to see my psychiatrist, Dr. Kermit, today. I wanted him to prescribe me valium or xanax for my panic attacks.

"You need to guard your sobriety carefully," he told me of the addictive nature of benzodiazepenes.

"I am just scared, doc," I said. "Scared those panic attacks will happen again."

He showed me breathing exercises for which I rolled my eyes in exasperation. I needed something to stave off those attacks before they start. I wanted potent drugs to take. I didn't get any. He kept my medications the same and didn't start me on Zyprexa. I am kind of relieved that we didn't change anything.


Rich said...

Xnax is some tough stuff and if you have addiction following you it will take the place of booze mighty fast. Hang in there!!

Barb said...

I am glad you didnt start on zyprexa. Sometimes the side effects are pretty harsh!

Enjoy the weather, and the wonderful day you are having!


Anonymous said...

Xanax & ativan are rough. I have a history of depression too. I accidentally got addicted to ativan. I was taking 10-15mgs a day just to stay level. If I wanted to pass out, I'd have to take more. I'm glad they didn't give you any. I struggled with that crap for 2 years. Good luck with the breathing excersises!!!!

Cheryl said...

Is that what's called a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Mom's Blog said...

Actually, the breathing exercises do work... but I have to do them through out my day even when even when I am having a great day and not in a panic.... just any time I feel your body being tense at all or am somewhere where I have paniced before.. in a way it does help keep the panic away because I am heading it off way before it has a chance to take hold.. it is something I am just making part of my everyday.. and I pretty much do it on the run... anytime I am stuck at a light or in a grocery line or waiting for an appointment I take time for some relaxation exercises that are not noticable to anyone else. Each time I get past a usual panick situation with out a glitch ( I used to panic several times a week) I gain more confidence in the whole relaxation thing. I have not had an attack for about 3 months now... and went off my anxiety meds (Lexapro) 30 days ago. From what I understand there are lots of variations of exercises to do ... you could always snoop around the internet and find some of interest???

CJM-R said...

The breathing exercises works for me, too. I would not steer you wrong. Just know you can manage the panic, it does not have to have control over you.

Good luck.


We're here Mr. 4th!! :) I know you were anticipating the changed med's but at least you don't have to worry about sleeping quite a bit, or dealing with how your body will deal with the attacks.
And worst case scenerio? When a panic attack surfaces, well, you'll cross that bridge when you come to it.
I added a new song to my song of many..Soul Asylum Runaway Train..its always reminded me of my "past" and something in the words reminds me of your struggles.
Have a good evening!
Sleep well!

Josie Two Shoes said...

You have an amazing amount of inner strength, Andrew. It shines thru all your writing here. Even when you don't feel like it, you manage to pick yourself up and keep going. I think it's wise that you didn't get more medications, and deep down you know that too. You have talked before how your Mom was kept so medicated that she couldn't function. You don't want that! You can do this! TRY the breathing exercises! I understand you are afraid of more anxiety attacks, but look - you've survived them, you're still here, and you're still Andrew! You will find your way. Faith replaces fear, Andrew, bit by bit it does.

SOUL: said...

there is some good advice here... and i do know the frustration of having a doc tell you what you need or don't need or can or can't have. they are very strict with drugs.. especially xanax, etc. once you tell a dr you're in recovery... the chances of you getting a prescription for anxiety meds are pretty much out the window... at least until you have some "time" under your belt for a long term rx.
anyhow... maybe you can learn what triggers the attacks? a thought? a sound? a time of year? etc. the more aware you become, the more manageable they become. well... somewhat. at least to the degree that you kinda know that you won't die, and it isnt a heart attack etc. ya know? well hell, who am i to talk.. i have xanax.
but really. try to become aware of what the triggers are, then do whatever you can to ease them. the breathing. i do do that btw.
i also will get in a dark room, close my eyes, lay down, breathe , etc. do the best i can to be still and quiet, and a lot of the times i can pull through without meds.
anyhow.. i'll shut up now.

Anonymous said...

hey there andrew,
just a suggestion, but there are several forms of psychotherapy specifically that can help treatment anxiety and panic disorder. One of them is CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy. I really recommend a book, "feeling good" by Dr. David Burns. If you can find a therapist, and are motivated to deal conquering some anxiety issues, you could really get a handle on them as well. Good luck! -RH

Lynette said...

I know you are listening to everyone. My mother in law has had the misfortune of having doctors give her whatever she wanted, not needed. Her quality of life suffered in the long run. Learn the breathing exercises, it is the concentration that defeats the panic.

EE said...

I'm now taking Effexor for my anxiety/panic it!!!!