Why do I want to go live here? I don't get my urge for self destructiveness sometimes. This is all I can think about and it is a short drive from me. I was told by an AA old timer today that I have been on a "dry drunk." I feel maybe some program is in order to give me a structured and more stable living environment. My rational mind tells me there is nothing structured and stable about living amidst a group of homeless addicts and alcoholics. Yet, I find it appealing. Gah! I am going to just throw myself into some 12 step meetings over the next few weeks and see how things go. OA, AA, NA. I am going to them all.