I was seriously thinking of quitting blogging today. It was the first time in ages I sat down after a busy day and couldn't just write. I decided to write about what is going on with me instead, in lieu of the usual "day in the life" stuff I post.
I have been blogging with only very short breaks since 2004 when I was homeless and discovered The Homeless Guy's blog by accident which was wildly popular at the time. I was trying to find tips on the Internet about making homelessness in the winter more survivable and comfortable. I didn't find much that could help a homeless person on his blog, but he did encourage me to write about my own experiences with homelessness, and they were nothing like his. It was then that I discovered the joy of writing and keeping a journal and joined the homeless blogger's webring and immediately gathered a few readers such as Pipe Tobacco. I would sit in my tent on cold, cloudy days as I drank beer and thought of things to write when I would sneak over to my deceased grandmother's house at night to get on the Internet. I still have that written journal and treasure it. My scribbled writings are such a tangible reminder of those interesting times I experienced and lived through. I was reading through an entry in that journal today and I think my skills as a writer have vastly improved.
I realize a lot of writings bring up questions. I seem to get a lot in the comments these days from the anonymous bandstand. You would really have to start at the beginning of this blog to follow along with my life for the past few years and understand what some of these recent posts mean and the profound change my life has undergone. It always amuses me when someone accuses me of making this stuff up when I could write vastly more interesting blog posts of fiction and make this a much more popular blog. I would have never shared my alcoholism, mental illness, or the tenuous relationship with my father as well. As that, I fear, alienates a good portion of the people that might read.
I have read some of the most popular blogs on the Internet and could easily emulate what they do if I wanted. I took writing dialogue from Waiter Rant for example and another homeless blogger named Michael Hussey who wrote an infinitely hilarious journal about homeless people in Tampa, Florida. I would go down to the shopping center to gather stories about George on the vein of Michael's posts about his homeless friend who was a crackhead whose jovial excuse for every screw up in life was, "Cause I'm a crackhead!" My friend, George, was far more tame of an individual than Michael's homeless friend, George. Proving to be not so exciting writing material, but I think many enjoyed the posts about George and the gang.
Do I worry about all I've shared and put up on the web? Yes, sometimes. It could take a moment of irrationality on my part to put my real name and hometown up to have the whole world having access to a play by play version of my life for the past three years. My anonymity affords me a certain amount of comfort in writing this blog and makes me feel like less of an ass for sharing such intimate details of my life. Hopefully, I will write again in the morning and am just experiencing a malaise today.