I was sitting down at the post office when my mother saw my car and pulled into the parking lot.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Just sitting here and listening to the radio," I said. "I had to get out of the house and knew no one would bother me here."
"Aren't you hot?"
"It is very hot," I replied.
"Come on and get in the car," she said. "Let's go get you something to drink."
We drove down the road to the convenience store. I tried to explain to my mother, my cabin fever. It is a symptom of my urge to be homeless.
"I used to couldn't stay in the house without your father there so I understand," she told me which made me feel better.
Deep tears then started to roll down my cheeks. My mother looked alarmed.
"Mom, I can't keep living the way I am living," I said in between sobs.
"What are you going to do?" she asked.
"I am going to go live down on the river for awhile before winter hits."
"Your father is going to have a fit," she said.
"I don't care what he thinks," I replied.
Mom took me back to the car with several bottles of cold water.
I feel crazy today. Turbulent thoughts amidst a turbulent mind. My only peace is the solitude of the great outdoors where I don't feel four walls closing in on me. When I get crazy, I don't care what other people think. I just want to live by the river and have the simplicity of it all. I can deal with the heat. The mosquitoes. And the animals. I can't deal with feeling tied down and caged like something in a zoo. Bah, I am going to quit writing this blog because I will hear nothing but negativity for writing my honest emotions.