I realize my journal can be dramatic at times. That's just par for the course when dealing with someone saddled with mental illness. One day the weather is sunny with clear skies. The next day it is addled with rain and overcast. I am much like the weather and can turn on a whim. They (my doctor and father) say the lithium I take is supposed to help with this, but I don't know. I still have crazy off days like today.
An hour ago, I took three Librium and it immediately calmed me down. Then I just called my father to tell him of my plans. "You've been doing so well lately and I have bragged to everyone about you," he said. "Your brother and sister are so proud." I couldn't go through with leaving Maggie and Rosa and living down on the river. It took some pills and a pep talk to make me change my mind. It's sad really and I know it is frustrating to read. I am so embarrassed by my last post, but will let it stand. I am off to take a long nap and hope that the gods that be allow me to wake up in a different frame of mind. I hope you all have a good day.