Friday, August 17, 2007

Morning Moments

I sat up in the bed this morning watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful. Like a child. I have been thinking of asking her for some space as she sleeps over here every night these days. My heart melted seeing that person in the bed beside me. I decided to save that conversation for another day.

"Outside?" I said as Maggie's ears perked up.

I walked into the kitchen to open the backdoor. Maggie went bounding out and barking. Soon, the smell of percolating coffee was wafting throughout the house. I was standing at the stove cooking breakfast when I felt two arms wrap around me.

"Good morning," I said as I held her arms.

"Can I interest you in going back to sleep?" she asked.

"I'm starving," I said in reply. "You want your usual?"

Rosa has to have her eggs very well done, almost desiccated. I proceeded to crack three eggs into a frying pan and stirred them with a wooden spoon. We then sat quietly eating as we were both waking up.

I never had these moments when I was married. Rachel would curl up on the couch with an open box of dry cereal, munching. That was her breakfast. Soon, she would leave for work and I would spend the day alone. She would arrive home late at night only to just watch television and go to bed. I realize now we were married on paper only. We were two strangers living under the same roof with vastly different lives.

Rosa and I are different. We share the same rituals and routines. Each meal is a blessing after our shared homeless experiences when times could be lean. Warm, inviting beds are something not to be taken for granted when park benches were once the norm. The ritual of smoking our cigarillos on my porch becomes a moment of conversation and bonding. It is all very scary to me, but elating at the same time.

This morning started out with thoughts of, maybe we need to spend some time apart, and ended with a, "I love you," after breakfast on the porch. Here's to relationships and that convoluted emotion and feeling called love.


RC Hammer said...

GOD has lead me to this blog. For the longest time, I have been hesitating to go here. But everday I keep getting called to go here... If you want to call it that. You probably think I'm crazy, but that's OK with me. Looking through your posts, I'm not toally sure what to say. So I'll tell you this: I will be praying for you, and all who come to this blog.

Your blog is really quite inspiring.

GOD bless you.

RC Hammer

Sherri said...

I have to agree. I too am pulled to your blog on a daily basis. We do not know each other. I am going through a depression due to things that have happened in my life over the past 4 years. I am trying so hard to keep moving and remember the blessings I do have. Reading your words brings me comfort. Thank you. Don't give up. I won't give up either.

Portia said...

here's to it :)

AngelicScripts said...

I just found this blog while looking through trying to find something that held my attention. I knew a guy that was in the same situation a few years ago, but he hadn't quite made it through the healing part of the process. I'm not sure what happened to him, but
I hope that he turned out half as insightful as you.

You're a very talented writer.

amelia said...

I've been reading for some time and have left the occasional comment.

Your blog is the first thing I read every morning and the last at night. I check it all day just to see if you've written another 'epistle'

Please don't ever stop, my life would be so empty without you and Rosa!!!

Ellie said...

Very interesting. Please keep us all up dated in your life. It is so wonderful to read everyday.