Monday, August 6, 2007

Down the Rabbit Hole

Falling in love was the last thing on my mind. Isn't life funny that way? It's scary, too. You are so afraid of getting your heart broken and I have always had terrible taste in women. I tend to have low self esteem and will date the first thing that comes along. Rachel and Carolyn are good examples. With Carolyn, I was kind of dating a mother figure. She coddled me and propped me up. I was enamored that such an older, more mature, woman would want me in her life. She grew possessive though. Intense. Once again that word scary comes up. I ran away and left like a child running away from home.

I don't know what the future holds, but it holds a certain mystique. I am excited, elated. I am also scared. I am going to take things real slow and will tell Rosa so today. Things are moving way too fast. I feel as if I am on some roller coaster that won't stop to let me off. The butterflies in my stomach are more than I can take. I have to do what makes me feel comfortable.


Damien Riley said...

So true! Comfort has to be there dude.

Anonymous said...

You sounded exactly like my on-off boyfriend, although currently off now... now i understand more deeply how he feels. He says that I have too much power to make him feel what he does... and he prefers being alone so that he can control his feelings and be more comfortable. At least you went ahead and took the chance on Love!