Monday, July 9, 2007

The Lush of Yesteryear

"Do you think you will ever get married again?" Rosa asked me this morning as we sat on my porch drinking sodas.

"No," I said, with an air of sureness in my voice.

"Why not?" Rosa then asked inquisitively.

"I couldn't take the pressure," I said. "The pressure to be a husband; the pressure to be a mate and friend. My nerves just couldn't take it."

I had seen my ex-wife this morning, told Rosa about it, and it precipitated this conversation.

"What was your biggest gripe about being married?" Rosa asked.

"Not being able to drink when and how much I wanted," I said as I laughed.

Rosa laughed along with me, but it was the truth. I would still probably be married if I wasn't a drunken lush then.

Editor's note: Rosa watched as I typed this and read it. I think Shy_Smiley had said in a comment the other day that she wondered if Rosa ever reads my blog. She rarely does and shows little interest in my biggest hobby, computers and the internet. Rosa's only comment about this post was, "You type so fast!"


Sous Gal said...

lol! Thanks for sharing about Rosa. Gave me my good giggle for today :) You sound very strong in your posts of late. Good! :)

I think you're crazy just like me said...

You type fast eh? I don't...takes me forever to type something lol.

Have a great day.

Barb said...


Nice to be back reading your post. I was on vacation, and after a week getting back to normal, I am back to the computer checking in with you and other's blogs. It is nice to be back!

Have fun camping by the old mill, are there many bugs down your way? Stay safe.

Andrew said...


Welcome back! I hope your vacation was great. We have what we call divebombers (mosquitos). They are vicious this year. I am glad my porch is screened in. Take care.

Sous Gal,

Lol! Thanks so much for the kind words. I appreciate it.

Annabel said...

I'm curious about you seeing your ex-wife now. Did you run into to her? Did you talk? Do you want to share or do you want me to just be quiet?

I always love the stories about Rosa.

justLacey said...

Marriage and children are a lot of pressure, I agree. The marriage part also brings with it some security for me (although, my first one didn't). The children are a pleasure a lot of the time. I get to enjoy these 2 in many ways I didn't get to with the first. Raising a child alone was very hard and I was much younger and a lot of the time I feel like I should have done more as a parent than I was willing or maybe even able (emotionally) to do at the time. It was incredibly stressful, but this time I have help. I dread the thought of them growing up and becoming teenagers though. That was the worst part of being a parent.

Andrew said...


We talked. I should write a post about it, but mainly just want to forget it happened (got nervous - social anxieties). Rachel looked good. She has lost lots of weight. She said she was coming over to see my new house as I live near her parents. She didn't believe me when I said I hadn't had a drink in forever. She probably never will. So good hearing from you!


Andrew said...

Just Lacey,

That's what I can't take...the pressure. I need a quiet and stress free life to keep my mental illness in check and to hold on to my sobriety. I am afraid that marriage would set my old patterns into motion. I always appreciate your comments so much and thank you for them. Enjoy your children's younger years while they last. The teen years get interesting for sure. Take care.


Cheryl said...


I think I'm too set in my ways to make room for someone else. Then again, if I found the right person I could be incredibly happy. I'm not ruling out marriage, but I'm not pursuing any relationships. Like you, I like my own routines.

Stay cool today! I'll be thinking of you.

PS...I checked out some of the ads on your blog. Except the ones that said, How Hot Are You?

Debo Hobo said...

I have a best friend like that as well. Not really interested in the things I do, but there none the less...

VA Friend said...


I could use a day or two on your porch, just sitting!! I recently found a "hiding" spot in my house where the kids can't find me but I can still hear them - the front porch. I sneak out when I need a break and just sit and watch the cars go by or read. It isn't screened in though but it gets great shade in the afternoon and a nice breeze. We are dealing with June Bugs right now. Man are they big this year!!

justLacey said...

Oh Andrew, there have been times if I wondered if I could take the stress too. Sleepless nights and anxiety over finances. When it was just me, at least I knew where things stood. I have had to learn to just try to enjoy life while it's good and not look for trouble. Some things you can't control. We moved last year and things seemed like they were going pretty good. Then within a month, my dog got sick and died and my mom was diagnosed with cancer. All of that came out of left field. My mom's condition has somehow reminded me of my own mortality and to just grab all the good I can while I am here. Even my teenager has grown up a little and surprised me this year. I used to wonder if she would ever hold a job or live on her own. I enjoy your blog and your simple but good life.

Gabriela said...

LOL, that was quite amusing.

em.s said...

hey, just wanted to leave a message. read your post when i hit the 'next blog' button. you sound like a dude. will pop by again.

dohsinbebe said...

No reason to get married unless the couple plans kids. of course, i'm not gonna tell my wife that, but thats my opinion.

marriage ceremony = money pit

M said...

The cool aspect of Rosa seems to be that she asks you questions with no ulterior motive.

She is just interested in hearing your thoughts. That is great.

shy_smiley said...

Hey, Andrew! I got so excited to see myself mentioned in an actual post, and one I can relate to even though I'm not afflicted with the same troubles as you are. I'm married with one kid. The marriage isn't the best, but we're committed and I can't imagine being with anyone else. My son, Jack, is my sun, my moon, and the horizons upon which they rise and set. He's everything to me. My DH wants more kids, but I absolutely do not. Can't take the pressure, the responsibility, of nurturing another life. Those pressures are completely understandable, even when you're perfectly balanced. And who of us can claim that?!

Eric said...

I find it interesting that you think about the pressures of being a good husband, mate and friend. It says a lot about the kind of person you are, one that sees the importance for a husband or wife to be focused on their partner's needs. I agree with you.

I really enjoy hearing you talk about Rosa. she sounds like a great friend.