Monday, July 16, 2007

Fresh Air

One morning I awoke to a terrible smell as you slept beside me.

"Did that come from you?" I asked you as I stirred you awake.

You groaned, "No. You are just gross."

"It wasn't me!" I would reply emphatically as I pulled up our covers to look for the dog.

The business end of our canine companion greeted us.

"Must be from Otis." I would then say. "I would have claimed that one proudly."

Otis was our Boston terrier that had a known history of flatulence and bowel irritation. I didn't have the foresight that blaming this poor dog many times for my own emissions would someday backfire. You didn't believe me as I had cried wolf once too often.

"That dog would have exploded before releasing that," you told me and I smiled at the thought of you almost making a fart joke. You were always so serious about such matters.

My inner 8-year-old was now grinning broadly; trying hard not to burst out laughing. It was too early for you to let me show emotion. Otis would poke his head out from under the covers with a look upon his face of, "Someone say my name?"

I finally broke out laughing in a show of gleeful exuberance. You would hit me, pull the covers around you tightly, and go back to sleep, un-amused and disgusted. Sometimes, I miss being married for the little moments such as this.


heart said...

Aw dogs are good for so many things :)

abbagirl74 said...

Hey booger. Silent and deadly, eh? How did I know? :)

Thought of you on the five hour drive home from Omaha. Looking at all of the scenery reminded me of the times you took your mom on some drives. Remember those?

Love the look of the blog. Genius.

Eric said...

Man's best friend?

♫☼Dra.MaryBoBin's☼♫ said...

That was fun..this is your real dog!? i mean, in the picture..!?
Nice day

Din said...

I really enjoyed reading your post. You have a very nice blog

I hope you will find the time to visit mine too

justLacey said...

We have always had boxer, they are quite flatulent. Especially as they get older. When you put up your e-mail again someday, I will send you a picture of the one we have now. He is adorable.


You should read the book, WALTER THE FARTING's a child's book..but discusses the same issues you used to have with Otis.
Didn't you write previously that your ex now has him?
Hope you're having a good start to your day!

Last Minute Lyn said...

awww, I love Bostons

Portia said...

i just caught up on your posts i missed over the past couple of days. i am in a wretched way this morning, but actually feel much lighter after visiting 4th Ave. thank you! for the words that seem to come so easy to you, for not pretending to know it all, for the humorous anecdotes, oh and for the link too.
i enjoyed the style in which this post was seems a bit different from your usual (which i also enjoy.)

i hope you & Maggie have a good one!

Anonymous said...

I came upon your blog by mistake while reading another and I have been reading it ever since. I have even recommended it to a friend of mine who is also bypolar. Thanx for sharing!

echokrns said...

Would love to hear and see more of Maggie....I love dogs!!!!

STACY'S TRIP said...

OMG I just got a boston terrier too. her name is eva

Barb said...

LOL You are such a guy!!! That is just plain nasty, and a source of humor with my husband as well.

Have a great Monday!

Mala Lopez said...

Oh Lordy this was a great one! Thanks for just bein you, and sharin such disgusting but greatly appreciated humor, Ive been so down and depressed lately with all that my world has been through, the may 4th tornado started the downward spiral this time, but I have lived with severe depression all my life, and its great when I can find things and people who can make me laugh. Plus its a boston to boot, my favortite childhood dog was a little boston named Shorty and we all still love and miss him to this day.

Im so glad you write and that I stumbled upon your blog, you are such a wonderful writer.

Leann said...

I love reading this kind of stuff Andrew, you make me laugh. This was told exquisitly as I could picture the whole scenario. Keep up the good work.