Tuesday, July 17, 2007


The morning was a whir of breakfast and activity. Eggs. Toast. Bacon frying in a pan. Dishes piled high in the sink much to my dismay.

"How many eggs do you want?" I asked Rosa, pan in hand, as butter melted.

"Two," she replied.

"Now dammit," I said as I laughed nervously. "You have to have multiples like three or six."

"God, you are so anal," Rosa said, rolling her eyes. You should know me better, was my thought.

Out the door we went. I had to walk back and check it three times to make sure it was locked. My computer! my mind screamed, fearful of all the foot traffic on this street.

"It's locked!" Rosa exclaimed, standing at my car and rolling her eyes once again.

Dropped Rosa off at her house. Rendezvoused with my two-week injection for my schizophrenia. A cold blast of air greeted me as I stepped into the doctor's office causing goose bumps. Signed in. Short's pulled down to the side. Cold, steel needle pricking the skin of my cherub bum. Nurse gossip. "Work sucks here." "Works sucks, period, unless you like what you do," was my reply.

Snarling traffic. Police cruiser behind me. Paranoia. Is my tag current? Is my license in my wallet? What if I have a warrant out for my arrest? I turn into the driveway exhausted mentally as I sigh with relief. And my day has just begun.


Nilsa S. said...

Thank you for being an honest, introspective writer. I stumbled across your blog today while clicking the "next blog" link in the Blogger menu. I've been searching for a blog worth reading and I have ended my search with yours! (Though, I may check out some of your favorite blogs next!)

Feel free to check mine out - I'm a budding blogger (or is it bloggist?) and can certainly use feedback from a more advanced writer such as yourself!


justLacey said...

Even with you painting the picture, it's hard to imagine what it's like. I gues the same little thoughts and voice I have whispering to me is shouting at you. I usually only check the door twice and not every time. I'm very anal about stupid stuff and I always wonder in my own head if the things I think are the same kinds other people do.
Also, do you notice it getting worse in the days before your shot is due?

Andrew said...


I notice my obsessive compulsive tendencies become more pronouced such as drinking sodas excessively, smoking habitually, excessive writing, mania, etc.


I too develop extreme paranoia anytime a cruiser is behind me. I don't know why, though. I constantly check my speedometer, I actually "pretend" that I don't see him..as if he knows what my thoughts are..knows that I'm guilty of something..IT's such a horrific feeling.
I hope this afternoon will be much more relaxing for you.

So you have to have things in three's?(6's, etc..) doubles are a no go for you? Good thing you're not a tennis player. :)
(all in good fun)

Eric said...

My eldest daughter is obsessed with 'evens' We were at the movies the other day and she had some skittles. I asked for one and her first response was, "No, I have an even number in my hand and I can't give you one." A few minutes later, she gave me one, no, she gave me two.

I could almost 'feel' the frantic way you day felt. Sorry.