My old nemesis insomnia is back. I sat up late last night in my den drinking coffee, smoking my pipe and writing ideas in my paper journal for the blog and my book. I was trying to come up with tales and stories I have never shared upon these electronic pages. I was also plagued by my other nemesis schizophrenia as well. I kept hearing people walking upstairs and talking, and the house would be dark and empty when I and Maggie would go upstairs and look.
“It’s all in your head,” I told myself trying to shake it off.
Still, it feels and seems so very real and is so disconcerting.
I also had an experience with my next door neighbor last night and I am still trying to decide if it really happened or not. The memories of it are vivid enough, but it seems surreal as if it were just a dream.
My father went grocery shopping with me last night. He wanted to make sure I am eating balanced and nutritious meals. My recent rapid weight loss has disturbed him.
“You like salmon, don’t you?” he said at one point as he placed cans of pink salmon in my cart. “Fish is supposed to work wonders for schizophrenia.”
We ambled about Kroger as he picked out items for me to cook and eat. I arrived home with lots of nutritious food, but it was very costly and I cringed when I had to write that check.
We then drove over to Fat Albert’s so I could purchase four of my favorite red hot pickled sausages which are a weekly treat. My father had my nightly medications in his car and gave them to me to take. I washed them down with an energy drink. We then arrived at my house and he left. I rushed into my bathroom and purged those medications into the toilet. I was sleeping all the time and feeling dull, blunted, and dim witted. I am now starting to feel normal again.