Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Knowing When to Fold

My support group yesterday was a complete washout. I and Rosa locked up, left, and then I drove by Philip's house to hand him the keys to the A.A. meeting hall.

"You sure you don't want to keep trying?" Philip asked me standing at his backdoor.

"I know when to fold," I said using George's often used poker reference.

Rosa was pouting with me as we drove home.

"It's not like you to give up," she said.

"Rosa, sweetheart, I just don't have it in me," I replied. "There are NAMI meetings down in Auburn people can go to."

Earlier in the afternoon, I went scouting for places to try an urban homelessness experiment. To the right is a picture of the place I am going to camp once I get settled in my new home. It is behind that grand old abandoned cotton mill next to the railroad tracks in a very deserted and isolated area. I was excitedly telling Rosa about it. It is going to be a grand adventure.

"Why?" Rosa asked of my planned adventure.

"Cause it will be fun," I replied.

"I can think of a thousand more fun things to do than to play homeless," Rosa said.

I laughed. She just doesn't understand my zeal for camping and urban camping will be a novel experience. I didn't tell her of my living in my car for a few weeks last summer. I'm sure I would have been chided.


JT said...

Sorry it didn't work out, but kudos to you for trying anyway! Not many people would have, especially with your social anxiety, so I say it counts as a success regardless.

VA Friend said...

I think it is interesting that you are currently moving into a new home and simultaneously thinking about camping in an old abandoned building. It isn't necessarily "homelessness" but more of just camping since you do have a home to return to. Just be careful camping. I worry about yout.

Andrew said...

va friend,

I just couldn't do that with my parents watching me at my old apartment and house. I will have much more autonomy in my new home and can go on such adventures. I am going to pitch my tent on that big concrete slab outside so I will not be inside trespassing. Please don't worry about me.


Sebastian said...

JUST LOVE THIS BLOG WISH MY BLOG WAS AS GOOD FEEL FREE TO GO TO MY BLOG AT http://newspoliticsandmore.blogspot.com/

Rich said...

Cool warehouse photo. If you had some creativity and a little money maybe a whole lot of money (just get a business loan) you could turn this place into condos or a high end shopping center.

Tiffanie said...

You can probably have your support group while you are doing your adventure. Stragglers will come by and you can support them and talk to them. That may be an easier way to reach them.

jason evans said...

Urban camping...I can't say I've ever heard of it, but I do see a certain draw.

Portia said...

you gave it a valiant effort and for that i hope you are proud. enjoy your newfound freedom.

Leon said...

Playing homeless won't be the same as the real thing. You've got the knowledge that you can go home to a nice, hot meal and a warm bed when you're finished. They don't. Decent blog.

Sandy said...

Through Christ all things are possible.

fiwa said...

Hi Andrew - I've been on vacation and am just getting caught up with reading, but wanted to say, I'm really proud of you for not taking that drink and for pouring it down the drain and going to an AA meeting. I know that took tremendous effort and willpower.

And you know what? I agree with what someone else said above. You are a support system for a lot of people: George, Rosa, Ferret...
You were brave to battle your social anxieties and give the formal meetings a shot, but you're still running your own support group.

I'm so glad you're getting a new camera - I can't wait to see the pictures of your house after you move in.

Have a great evening -

519Consultancy - Andrew Martin said...

This is my first time reading your blog and have been gripped with your excellent writing skills and your ability to clearly describe what happening around you. I feel as though I there with you sometimes!

Listen, well done for trying and I'm going to keep coming back to your blog for a good read. Good luck with being homeless - kind of!

All the best buddy all the way from the UK!

C.A. said...

Andrew, if I lived in the vicinity, I'd be there at that support meeting. We have nothing like that here, and I'm in the outlying area of a town of 115,000!

I hate reading your blog in my reader...it doesn't allow me to comment. :( Anyway, I'm still enjoying it each and every day. Thanks so much for your posts.

I saw a quote today..."I don't need YOU to drive me crazy...it's already within walking distance!" Made me think not only of myself, but of you, especially with your penchant for strolling along, even in the wee hours.


Cindi Ann

ursusdave said...

By yimminy, that urban camping sounds like a good idea. But I would have to pitch my tent over in some shade and on the ground. It won't be much close to being homeless, but I like the thought of being out there but not too far out there without electric and all. I've some of had my best night's sleep in a tent. No one can ever experience the trauma of homelessness unless they are homeless. But that urban camping sounds fine to me, a way of looking at familiar environments from a different point of view.

Leann said...


Enjoy the urban camping. I've done something similar, but have to admit, the smell and the atmosphere of the woods and mountains will always win out for the camping experience.

The Gorbott said...

i just read your profile and saw that you like warren zevon. one of the few things i feel bad about in life is that he died before i got to see him play live. maybe in the next world.

Eric said...

It was good of you to try for the length of time that you did, and "knowing when to fold" is a noble gift.

I have to comment on the suggestion that you could turn the abandoned warehouse into condos or high-end shopping center...I was thinking maybe homeless shelter and meeting and treatment center for those in need.

Summer said...

Like va friend... it worries me.

Ben said...

Hi ya!
whts up?
im new




I think that's a fabulous idea..sometimes having an outlet(playing homeless)helps people to deal with the change. (moving into your new place)

I've started volunteering at a shelter,..and I have to say that every single person that I encountered the other night was truly magnificant.

austere said...

I have seen this picture before.. well, I hope you are safe and have fun.
Looks scary to me.