Wednesday, June 13, 2007

A Double Edged Sword this Blog Be

Posts and their comments like earlier today cause me a lot of anxiety. I kick myself in the ass for putting that kind of stuff on the internet. I debated on taking down that post. I try really hard not to write about the negative aspects of my life and my schiz. I sometime just can't help but to use this blog as a form of written therapy and my thoughts just pour out often colored by my mental illness and I hit publish. I really need to quit writing such personal and revealing stuff on this blog and take a cue from writers like Waiter at Waiter Rant and just write little innocuous vignettes of my life. I noticed waiter doesn't reveal anything of his personal life and still writes a captivating blog.


Annabel said...

But I like the fact that you're so open about yourself. It makes you more real and endearing to me. I'm not going to judge you for your actions though I may show concern for you and that's because I've grown to care about you through your blog.

I didn't get a chance to read through your comments, but keep in mind that your honesty about your life is really what keeps people coming back. I wish I could be as bold as you. I don't know what else to say, but know that I am your friend and I will read regardless of what you write - but knowing you (faults and all) makes you more special.

VA Friend said...

YOU is why WE read. Don't keep the YOU out of your blogs. That would make it so impersonal. We read because it is personal. You have been an inspriation to me and my blog!! Don't change, please.

ANITA said...

Andrew... being new to your blog, I am sure that there isn't a whole lot that I can that anyone else here might say. You are going to hear how it's that kind of personal, raw power to your writing that keeps people reading. That is true for me, too; it is a sense of relation and identification I have with much of your writes.

I suffer from depression and anxiety. Schizophrenia runs in my family as does the depression and other types of mental illness. Reading the ups and downs of your experiences helps me to understand what my loved ones cope with and also with my own issues. Please don't feel self-conscious... though that is easier said than done.

I, too, tend to write things like you do... I try to keep to things that make people smile or laugh, but sometimes just getting something out there just makes you feel better. The feedback is merely that, someone's impression or thought on what you are thinking and feeling. Only you can think and feel what you have to.

I love your writing. Please write as you feel you need and want to and I will keep reading :o)

PipeTobacco said...


I think that writing reality is what your efforts are all for. Not simple vignettes of fluff. None of the comments in your previous post seem shocked or upset... just concerned.


pai said...

It is probably hard to ignore the comments that seem to judge you, but don't focus on that. Focus on the fact that people cared enough about you to bother to comment about their concern for your safety. Utlimately, you are the only one in control of your medications and no one can stop you from taking or not taking them.

We all just wish you safety, health and happiness.

And don't stop writing your vulnerable posts - they are precious jewels because they are so personal.

Josie Two Shoes said...

I know that everyone came down on you a bit heavily in that last post Andrew, but it's true they responded because they care... and we know that a schizophrenic not taking his medications can be risky. I think we would all be heartbroken if you relapsed into some of your previous struggles. The bottom line I'm learning about blogging, is to appreciate people's input, and always to consider it, because sometimes we can't see the forrest for the trees in our own lives, but still to remember it's your life, and you do what feels right for you. No one has walked a mile in your shoes, and definitely no one here is judging you. I think we all feel that you are amazing in how well you keep your life going! I hope you don't resort to fluffy innocuous posts, those are so boring!

Patty said...

Just ignore those people who are too busy butting into others lives and judging them to take a good long look at thier own.

abbagirl74 said...

Hey cutie! Don't try to be like someone you're not. You are perfect the way you are. I wouldn't change a thing.

To the writer of the negative comment - tsk, tsk. I guess you don't know much about this wonderful man's life, do you? Butt out.

Eric Valentine said...

I think that what everyone has said in this 'post of comments' is right. You are who you are and what you write is what gets you the audience that your thread enjoys.

Be honest, be open, be yourself, for people love you for the person you are already.

To change anything would not be the best route for you Andrew my friend.

Cheryl said...

But you're nothing like Waiterant. You're Andrew of 4th Avenue Blues. We like to read what you have to say.

Gaviota_mx said...


I had noticed before that many of your readers' comments come off as advice. I read the comments on your previous post and only one didn't talk about how bad it is for you not to take your medication.

I don't think we people without schizophrenia can understand, really understand what it is about.

I think we, your readers and commenters, could reflect if we are, sometimes, treating you as a child and not as a grown old man.

I think it is up to you to decide what you want to share with us. Thanks for your sincerity.

Leah said...

Please take your medication. Stop throwing it up in the toilet.

justLacey said...

I do know what you mean about comments causing you anxiety sometimes. I used to blog and found that sometimes people can be very mean to each other. I also found out that sometimes what we write can be interpreted in other ways than what we mean. Although I have met many wonderful people through blogging and reading blogs, there have been some that were quite disturbing. Just as in real life. Comments really can be a double edged sword. Just know that for the most part we just care and want to keep you here with us.

amelia said...

No one is judging you, just caring for you.