Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Baring my Posterior for Posterity

I sat in my doctor's lobby reading a Podiatry Today magazine. A constant parade of elderly people would walk by on canes and walkers. One elderly lady sat down next to me.

"Terrible drought we are in," she said, making small talk.

"I know," I replied. "The long term weather models are hinting at a wetter end of June though."

"I sure hope so," she said. "My tomato plants have been suffering."

I return to my magazine until I notice my father's accountant walk in dressed in a suit. He doesn't recognize me and I sigh relieved. My father's friends always ask me what I am doing for a living these days and ask if my brother and sister are enjoying being doctors. It embarrasses me.

"Andrew?" my nurse, Rebecca, said as she opened the door to the waiting rooms.

I hurriedly got up to leave the lobby behind.

"Do you want to weigh in today?" Rebecca asked.

"Sure," I said, stepping upon the scales.

"Wow," Rebecca replied. "You have lost twenty pounds since I started weighing you."

I smiled proudly. I really have worked so hard lately to lose weight. It has been a struggle though. I am a big guy with a big and healthy appetite.

We walked into the waiting room and Rebecca prepared the injection for my schizophrenia. She inserted the two inch long needle into my butt cheek deftly and quickly. There was no blood as there sometimes can be. I barely even felt it. It was over as soon as it started.

"Thank you for making this so easy," I tell Rebecca.

She smiles and says,"Thank you."

I drove on home glad that that little ordeal is behind me for two more weeks.

15 comments:

Beautiful Feet said...

Andrew, you can feel embarassed about people asking you about what you do for a living, but personally, I value your writings here and count them as important as the work of any medical physician. All too often, doctors give little attention to a person's emotional state and I think that your writings and sharing your personal stories is very brave and helpful to so many.

Thanks!

VA Friend said...

I agree with beautiful feet. You should say you are a freelance writer!! And then when they ask if you have had anything published tell them you publish everyday!

I think you're crazy just like me said...

Have a great next two weeks until the next butt jab ;)

C. R. Morris said...

Cute title LOL! What are you doing for a living? You're writing and entertaining the multitudes of course! Not to mention, you're getting paid to do it. I love your blog and look forward to it daily. Please don't be embarrassed. I sometimes get the same thing.. I just can't make myself get a "real job" as some call it. Spooks me to think about people and work.. *shudder* but I do work... and I work hard to be good at what I do.. I know I have a lot of improvements to make, but I love learning. I am a writer, I write for a living and I love it. Keep writing and be proud because everyone loves it!

2 LMZ FARMS said...

After reading that, you couldn't jab a toothpick up my tush with a sledgehammer. I hate shots. Even though I have to give myself one everyday. Sugar thing. Mine go into my stomach not my tush. I hate being a pincushion.
I agree with all the other who has commented on the question you are asked. You are a freelance writer. A damn good one, too.
Have a good one.
Laura

Blue Gardenia said...

I doubt that I could expose my self to some nurse. Thankfully the jab was only hypodermic. My own anti-psychotics have been increased but thankfully in pill form only. My Dr. suggested a hospitalization but I demured. Be thankful those injections can keep you out of the psyche ward. Fingers crossed.

fiwa said...

Youch! Glad it's *behind* you for 2 weeks. :)

I agree with what's been said above, just tell them you're a writer. You ARE, and you are making money at it. AND, you're really good at it too.

lovins,
fiwa

Portia said...

ah the joys of living not just in a small town, but the same small town for most of your life..i hear ya

KYRIE said...

I agree with rest of the group. U are a damn good writer (who I totally respect) and u should tell ur father's friends precisely tht.
Andrew, how dare those snobish people judge u? Are they willing to walk in ur shoes? Are they willing to experience wht u hv? They wont even last a minute.
Andrew, I totally understand wht u going through cause I am in the same boat as u are. Even my own "friends" judge me and somehow make me feel I am left behind and not worthy to be their friend since they all either graduated, in grad school or hv a great job with car and all. I am not even sure whether I will ever graduate frm college with the way things are going in terms of finances. Heck I dont even know wht I am going to do tommorow but somehow my so called friends and relatives love to point this out and make me feel like a loser. But I will soldier on and will not let some stuck up morons make me feel so small.

R2K said...

: )

Cat's Experiment said...

just found your blog & it's one of the most honest I've read in a long time. Was just diagnosed with depression 2 weeks ago & is a blow to my pride (mostly!) Blogs do afford a wonderful outlet for expression, more so than books, for daily life. All your commentors are very supportive, so just keep doing what you do..simple really!

Debo Hobo said...

Wow! I am glad I stumbled upon this. Andrew, those people that constantly ask what you do are merely bored or disappointed in their own path. I would proudly tell them what you do. You inspire other for a living. The Great Andrew-World Inspirer

Laurie Anne said...

Andrew, you are such a great writer. You've been tagged! Please answer. Here are the rules:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

All Blog Spots said...

nice blog

beanstalk said...

Hi Andrew,

You should know that your blog has an ardent fan in India. :) I think you write beautifully, have tremendous clarity of thought and have a gift of articulation that is rare.

I have been silently reading your blog since a couple of months now (with no voyeuristic intent!) - and know that you are writing a book. During one of my nightly web-traversals I came across www.lulu.com. They publish books - for those without the wherewithal to approach big publishers... thought you might be interested.

Keep writing Andrew - your faith gives me hope!

- abhi