Monday, May 7, 2007

White Pills of Bliss

Arrived home from I and George's little jaunt out into the countryside in his new car. That car drives like a dream and has a silky smooth V6 with loads of power, but it guzzles gas. I had forgotten how much I love spending time with that old drunken fool. George had on his finest Hawaiian style shirt and a pair of khaki pants and his captain's cap. He was dressed to a T in familiar George fashion. We drove out into the country on the back roads to escape the city and the police. That way, George could piss anywhere along side of the road. I know all too well how drinking copious amounts of beer can make you piss like a racehorse.

"When are you and your old lady (Rosa) going to get married?" George asked at one point.

I smiled at George's playful bluntness.

"You didn't know?" I asked, playing along. "We are already engaged."

"You're shitting me!" George exclaimed.

I laugh and say, "Yes, I am shitting you, you dumbass."

"Well, you spend all your time together so you might as well be married."

I and George then had a long discussion about Rosa and why the two of them don't get along.

"She always wants to borrow cigars from me and it pisses me off," George said.

"Rosa thinks you are a cheap bastard that's why she doesn't like you," I reply, thinking of all the countless numbers of beers I have bought George over the years. George is pretty cheap towards Rosa.

We then talked of how it would be embarrassing for me to date Rosa because of my family. I feel terrible about it, but it is true. My father was aghast at me dating an older woman such as my ex-girlfriend Carolyn. He still has high hopes for me having children one day even knowing I could never handle offspring. He would be in horror at me dating a 46 year old ex-prostitute, ex-con grandmother who smokes cigars. I had to smile even thinking about it. My brother and sister married the picture perfect upper middle class mates – much to my father's approval.

I finally arrived home to four messages from my father about tonight's medications. I had forgotten all about them.

"Where in the hell have you been?" He asked, so worried.

"Oh, just driving around with a friend," I replied. "Sorry. I forgot."

"Come on over and take your meds so I can go to bed. I had a hell of a day at work today and am tired."

My father had called my dentist earlier in the day about a molar I broke a few weeks ago. It has started to hurt and I was popping aspirin and Tylenol like candy and this worried him. I couldn't get an appointment until June to get it fixed so my dentist called in a prescription for Lortab to my father's pharmacy so I had a surprise in tonight's medications – a little white pill of bliss.

"You sure will love this," my father said as he handed me my medications to take along with a plastic cup of water.

"You sure I can't have another in case I get to hurting during the night?" I asked as I smiled devilishly.

"Shithead," My father said affectionately. "I bet you would just love to take two. Go get some sleep and quit taking all those Tylenols. You are going to ruin your liver."

I walked on home waiting for the effects of that Lortab to take hold. I have completely forgotten about that broken molar and am on cloud nine. It is going to be a fun night. See you all in the morning.


JMH said...

As always, a truly human post. Great. Pure.

justLacey said...

read your last post before this one. if you have a dentist that knows you're in pain and won't take you in that day, call another. there is no reason they can't fit you in within a couple of days for an emergency. especially someone with your history and meds. i think that is just cruel. feel better andrew. nothing worse than a tooth that is hurting and being up all night on top of it.

Melanie said...

oh, bummer. i'm sorry the pill turned out to be so rough on you. i can't take lortabs either, but it's because i'm allergic. i get covered in welts like i've been rolling around in a stinging nettle patch.

i'm glad your dad mentioned the effects of tylenol on your liver. i think a lot of people don't realize how hard it can be on a person. i guess because it's over the counter, they assume it's totally safe and innocuous. since i'm allergic to all morphine products, i too had been popping them like candy for years in order to cope with the arthritis in my spine. i never realized how hard they were on a person until i had minor surgery a couple of years ago and almost bled to death. i had not taken any tylenol for a good month before the surgery, because i knew about the blood thinning effects. but because i had been abusing it for so long, i had caused permanent damage to the formation of my platelets. even now, five years later, my blood doesn't clot the way a normal person's does. i had no idea. i wish the word could get out there more loudly so that other people don't end up with this sort of rude surprise.