I have always been notorious for going it on my own. The rigors of my mental illness and addictions have caused me to become more humble over the years when asking for aid. I was having a terrible go of things with regards to my schizophrenia and my alcoholism this afternoon. It didn't help that I had over one hundred dollars in cash in my wallet left over from I and Rosa's night out. I was just beside myself with agony and agitation so I called my father a moment ago.
"Dad, I need your help," I said, shakily.
"What's wrong, son?"
"Will you keep my wallet tonight? I have driven down to Fat Albert's three times to buy beer, but managed to resist. I just don't trust myself with money at the moment."
"Walk over and I will unlock the backdoor."
I walked the short distance to my father's house and took a seat in the den as I handed my father all that money and my credit cards.
"I am so proud of you," he said as he sat down on the floor next to me and held my hand. "You did the right and responsible thing."
"I hate to bother you," I replied. "I just need some help."
"I know," he said as he squeezed my hand. "You just let me help you."
"Have you had some good comments on your journal today?" he then asked. "I know how important that is to you."
"I am so lucky," I replied. "I have some of the coolest and most supportive people reading my blog."
"What have you done today?"
"I spent a long time down at the shopping center with George and Rosa, and then Rosa came home with me for awhile."
"She doesn't take advantage of you and your condition does she?"
"No way – we are the best of friends."
Luckily, my father knows little of Rosa's past or he would be aghast at the company I keep.
"Let me give you something to take that will make you feel better," he told me as he got up to go into his bathroom.
"Now, this is going to knock you out and don't you dare tell your brother and sister I gave you this much to take," he said, handing me three Xanax and three Librium. "I want to see you take it."
I walked into the kitchen and took the pills with a glass of water as my father watched.
"You go home, go to bed and get some sleep," he said as he gave me a hug. "You will feel much better when you wake up."
I thanked dad, gave him one more hug and walked home. I am already feeling those medications and a sense of calm and a feeling of tranquility has overcome me. It is some much needed relief as I was quite literally beside myself. I hope I will be able to sleep soon.