Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Rendezvous with Rachel

It is well after midnight. My ex-wife has come over with our Boston terrier, Otis. We are lying in the bed after making love.

"Have you missed me?" she asks.

"I've missed you more than anything," I reply as I brush the hair out of her face.

Otis and Maggie are in the den. You can hear them play fighting loudly.

"I got promoted at work," my ex-wife tells me. "I am now head librarian."

"Being a librarian was always your calling," I reply. "You still read a book every few days?"

"You should see my house," she replies. "You almost can't walk there are so many books. I've started selling them on E-Bay. I've actually made a few hundred dollars."

"Do you regret us getting a divorce?" I then ask wistfully.

"I don't know," Rachel says as she sits on the edge of my bed as she puts back on her bra. "I miss you, but I don't miss your drinking and crazy ways."

"It was pretty bad, wasn't it?" I say.

"If you were only like you are now then we would still be married," she replies as she gets up to put the rest of her clothes on.

"Well, I need to head home," she says. "I have to be at work early in the morning. I love you."

"I love you too, doll," I say as I walk her into the den as she puts Otis back on his leash to leave. "Tomorrow night?"

"I'll see you tomorrow night," Rachel replies. "Let's go up to Newnan and eat at our favorite Chinese restaurant."

I suddenly wake up, breathing heavily. It was one of the most realistic and vibrant dreams I have had in years. I can still remember how Rachel's skin felt as we lay unclothed in the bed and the smell of her hair. I sit on the edge of my bed as I light a cigarillo trying to decide if what I just experienced was a good dream or a nightmare. I do know it made me miss my ex-wife deeply. I will never be able to get back to sleep now. It is time for coffee and breakfast as I put these vivid memories behind me.


Sword said...

Amazing. Thats a positive thing to dream about. Last night I was thinking about your blog, and your real life as a Schizo, Well I could note but notice how your condition is based on ATTENTION, and the lack of it makes you you fall back to want to run away into the woods. Its funny coz i'm no shrink but ROSA is actually your anchor. You crave for attention and she gives fully to you. There is a snag though, the minute you bed her will be the break water line. Cherish this moment.

About the dream, well yeah.. lol.. I had the same two weeks ago, only that Janie my X never had a red panty..seriously it has been troubling me a lot whether its a warning. Call is African

Cheryl said...

Whoa, that was some dream. Have you heard from Carolyn since you wrote her? I'm sure you have that on your mind.

I'm off to work on this humid morning. I hope it's a good day for you, my friend.

madnilk said...

hurm, i never dream things like that cause i never have been in divorce condition cause just married last November...

But, somehow i kind of understand your feeling on loneliness deep inside!!

cheer up and one day you'll find someone better!!

p/s: nice picture of you there....

Gina said...

i guess our minds know when we need a little loving.

Nicole, Graeme and Janel said...

Like you, I dream in glorious technicolour and surround sound. It can be more than a little disconcerting when you wake up at the end (or in the middle) of a dream like that - the dream seems more real than reality itself.

I seldom dream about the ones I love, but last night I dreamt about my husband for the first time in ages. He was driving the car (which he seldom does; I do the driving) and falling asleep behind the wheel. I woke up just as we were hitting an oncoming car. Not a fun dream to have.

I find my dreams tend to hang around me for hours afterwards, affecting my moods and my interactions with others, and not always in a positive way. Hopefully you can let go of yours without it affecting you too much.

Have a good day!

Candy said...

I guess you really miss her alot.


It's good to have these dreams..if we didn't dream, what would we have left?

Melanie said...

oh, hon. such a bittersweet gift that dream was. i have had dreams of that sort about my high school sweetheart, although never that vivid. still, i would find myself fighting to get back to sleep for just a few more minutes, trying to get back to that world for a just a moment longer.

2 LMZ FARMS said...

Thank you for visiting my blog. So you are my neighbor. I live in MS and you are in Al. I went back and read alot on your blog. I can relate to the dreams of your ex. I was divorced for 3 years but the dreams I had of my ex wasn't like yours. Mine were about the horrible things I could do to him for the way he treated me and the kids for 15 yrs.
You are a very talented writer. I'm going to mark your blog and visit more often.
Sorry to hear about you being scared of horses. They are wonderful pets and friends.
Are you sure you aren't a writer.?

justLacey said...

like melanie, i have dreams of my high school sweetheart also. about once a month recently. i wonder why? i have a wonderful husband. perhaps i just like being young and pretty again, lol.

fiwa said...

I dream about my ex-husband sometimes. I don't have any happy feelings for him, so always when I wake up it's with a sense of "eeewww... thank god that's over!"

I think your mind just knows you have things to work through, so it does them while you're asleep.

Hope your day was a good one. I'm sorry to hear about your camera, I know you will miss taking pictures, and I'll miss seeing them.

KYRIE said...

Would a camera cell phone, maybe a 2nd hand one, be cheaper option for u? I took some photos as the sun was setting this past weekend, posted in my blog, with my camera phone n I though it was ok.
But I guess u want the real deal camera for the pros. So 2nd hands cameras are great way 2 go!
I bet George could even score 4 u a cheap but cool camera of the streets but tht probably is not a wise option.

Tiergeliebter said...

You left a very nice comment for me, so I thought I'd do the same for you. This is a very interesting dream. I have read a few books about the symbolism behind dreams. But this, the books said nothing of. You had a special dream, I guess!

Zeborah said...

I'm enjoying your writings.
You are working on a novel?
Have you been previously published?

Fairy Goth Mother said...

Got your comment, will browse through your page-i see there's loads of reading!
This dream thing reminds me one of my "vivid dreams". Well that one was the creepiest one ever, not boogeyman topic, but just a nasty feeling. one of those dreams, youw ish you could wake up, but you are not waking up and it feels like it is sucking you into some vortex. it was about me and someone i fancied a lot. in short, he was ditching me in a very bad way and it hurt like hell. i woke up from the dream and started to cry, God it was a bad dream.
dunno why they happen, but probably they happen cos of your mind, thoughts...

Summer said...

I liked this, very much. It has so many meanings.

Laurie Anne said...

Wow.How beautiful and poignant. What a lovely, bittersweet post.

Theresa Williams said...

Hello! Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. We have some things in common: My 27 year old son was diagnosed with schizophrenia two years ago. It's been really tough going, finding the right meds for him and convincing him he needs to keep taking the meds. I think this last time in the hospital (three months) was a real wake up call for him and he is doing much better now. He's such a good son; it's been tough on all of us. I grew up on the old Star Treks and really liked NEXT GEN, but then stopped watching after that. I also write for the healing aspects of it.