Friday, May 4, 2007

Meals, Ready to Eat

Rosa got to experience her first military MRE today. A few years ago, I bought several large cases of the meals in case I ever became homeless again – spent a fortune. They have proved perfect for my little jaunts into the woods to go camping although they are rather heavy. They are even self-heating.

"This is really good," Rosa said with her mouth full of spaghetti and meat sauce.

"I told you you would like them," I replied.

I spent the rest of the afternoon unloading my car as Rosa helped. When my schizophrenia strikes, I get it into my head that homelessness is the only solution to my predicament. Hey, I know it's crazy, but I do have schizophrenia if you remember.

"Where were you gonna go?" Rosa asked me of my voluntary homelessness.

"Back out to the woods where no one can find me and force medications upon me," I replied. "I can be crazy and free and not have family watch me constantly."

I told Rosa how my father tries to punish me when I get ill or don't take my medications. He is a total control freak.

"You two's relationship is fucked up," Rosa replied.

"I know," I said. "I usually just ignore the bullshit and controlling nature of my father, but will speak freely when I don't feel well. It drives him crazy. I sometimes wonder who actually is the person with a mental illness in our relationship."

We finally unloaded my car and I came in to write this as Rosa settled down to watch Court TV.


Blue Gardenia said...

When the chips are down being homeless is wonderful. Sleeping outside is great. I was homeless a year ago during some turmoil and it harmed no one. Enjoy the great outdoors.

Augs Casa said...

Hello Amigo,

I'm reading you rpost daily, just not commenting as much. I hope you are well. MRE's love them. On my hiking trip which we named eco-challenge, whatever you carry is is what you eat. It's usually a long weekend trip and we eat MRE's all weekend. They are heavy, but not as heavy as the 2 litres of water we carry in and the water filter. I'd go camping with you anytime amigo.

simonsays said...

Hang in there darlin---hang in there! I am pullin' for you to have a good weekend. Jamie

abbagirl74 said...

Hey Sweetie,
Just wanted you to know I have been sending positive thoughts your way. I know yesterday was bad, but today is a new day. Please make amends with your father as soon as you can. He loves you and cares about you immensely. You know that.

KYRIE said...

Andrew, tht is how parents are, their natural instinct kicks in to the top gear, when their kids (even when the dad might be in his 80s n the son is 60s) are in harms way.
When I a kid prone to the flu bug, my dad decided that I had to walk around when in crowded places while I cover my mouth n nose with a handkerchief. He would be walking behind me saying cover ur mouth, cover ur mouth! See tht man just sneezed, the virus is gonna attack u. And if my one of friends had a runny nose, adios friend for weeks according 2 my dad. Alas, I never was the popular one in middle school. Just imagine the fights my dad n I used 2 hv. I put my foot down in my teens , had a long talk, n surprise surprise my dad actually decided I should hv a lot of friends in high school n will be driving my friends n I everywhere! He was actually declared a "cool" dad by my pals thn.
The moral of this (funny, embracing but totally true) story? Ur dad n u should try to understand one another more, stop acting like such a guy n open up 2 ur dad. Let him know wht u feel n ur fears.
I just wanna ask do u think self medication (including self injecting) will make u feel like ur more in control over ur illness? Talk it over with ur dad. The feeling of helplessness n hopelessness that I think urn facing I hope can be overcome by having more power over ur illness.