Thursday, May 24, 2007

Dan Rather, the Prophet

Rosa was standing in my kitchen next to me as I made grilled cheddar cheese sandwiches this afternoon. A pot of homemade minestrone soup was bubbling on the stove.

"I got asked a question today and I didn't have an answer," Rosa says as we stand there. "And it made me think."

"What was it?" I ask, intrigued, as I flipped the grilling sandwiches so they wouldn't burn.

"Where did Cain's wife come from? Was it his sister?"

I laughed.

"Now that question would throw the Christians into a frenzy," I say.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know and I don't care," was my response.

"Didn't you used to be big on religion?" Rosa asks.

"Yeah," I said. "I read the Bible and I also thought Dan Rather was a prophet and was sending me scripture through the television."

"Dan Rather?!" Rosa asks as she smiles incredulously.

"Don't ask," I say. "I was crazy."

I fix Rosa and me a plate of a sandwich and a bowl of piping hot soup. We walk into my den to sit and eat as we watch The Weather Channel.

"Monday is my first mental health support group meeting I am starting," I say as I take a bite of my sandwich as the melted cheddar oozes out of the other end.

"You're really passionate about this, aren't you?" Rosa says. "It's all you have talking about for days."

"I am scared shitless as well," I reply. "I am so worried only one person is going to show up and then I will have to fill an hour with conversation. You know me and my social anxieties."

I put down my plate and walked over to my computer desk to get the flyer I made and then handed it to Rosa.

"This looks great," she says.

"I am going to drive down to Kinko's and have a bunch of copies made," I reply. "Driving George tonight is going to pay for it."

"What kind of refreshments are you going to have?"

"Soda, diet soda, pimento cheese finger sandwiches, homemade chocolate chip cookies, and coffee," I reply.

"Okay," Rosa says as she smiles. "I am coming with you Monday to support you. Just don't expect me to talk."

"It will probably be just me and you anyway," I reply.

We finish our meal and Rosa leaves to walk home after giving me a hug goodbye. I feel one hundred percent better about Monday now that Rosa is coming with me. With her help, I think I can get through this.


mago said...

And IF you two are there - HECK - You started.
Yes it is a possibility that you stand there alone, anyway: You face your anxieties, you started something going public.

When I had to give my first real referate I could not read the paper because I was shaking too terrible, my hands just were not working properly. I put the paper down on the desk and read the damn thing. At a point I thought: Screw ya, I am talking! It helped. I discovered a kind of stage. It's acting.

I just want to say, that I very much like the idea of this support-group you are going to start. I wish it to be succesfull. And I know that you can "make it" (do not know better). I probably use this language terribly wrong. Simply do it.

Josie said...

This is a wonderful endeavor, Andrew, and a really awesome way for you to work on social interaction! I'm betting people will show up, especially after the word starts getting out. Give it a little time to get going - It's a good thing you do!

Barb said...

If you start it, they will come...

Good luck Andrew! Rosa wont let you down!

fiwa said...

That's so sweet of Rosa to go with you. I will be thinking about you on Monday and hoping everything goes well.

Maybe it would help to sit down and make a list of things you could talk about, in case it IS just you and another person. Be prepared for the fact that even if several people show up, you might have to get the ball rolling. Sometimes people are shy in new groups like that.

I have faith in you though, that you can do it. Because you are a caring person.

Summer said...

I would come just for your and Rosa's company and the pimento cheese sandwiches.

VAfriend said...

It may take a few weeks to get it going but once you get a few people they will bring a few more people and you will have a nice little group. Hang in there and DON'T give up!!!

Plus Rosa, your keystone will be there every step of the way for you!! :)

justLacey said...

Well, I'm excited for you on this support group thing. Even if no one shows up at first, don't give up. Sometimes i takes a while to get the word out. I think you have been tackling your social anxiety very well. When i was younger I suffered from panic attacks. It was awful so i have some idea of how you feel. I had to make myself realize though that if I just shut myself off from the world it would just become harder and harder to get back out. So sometimes I went out and I was fine, other times I would be freaked out inside. Eventually I pretty much just outgrew it I guess. Sometimes though I still get a twinge of anxiety here and there, not too often. I think I have traded it for migraines;) Not exactly a good switch, but at least now I have a medication that usually knocks it out when i take it. Please let us know how it goes and save a pimento cheese sandwich for me.

Moonroot said...

I think it's wonderful that you're starting this group, Andrew. You have such a good heart, you are always helping others. And you have a great friend in Rosa. I wish you every success - will be thinking of you on Monday.

LAB said...

I am glad that you are going to start this group. I think that it will be a great step for you. I look forward to hearing about how it goes....btw...can I have some cookies please!!!


jAMiE said...

Good luck with your support group meeting on Monday, Andrew...I'm so glad Rosa will be there for you.

I applaud you and your endeavour!


nafis_disturbd said...

I just started reading your blog from today and I already love it. You know that your writing definitely doesnt give the impression that you are mentally ill. And I dont know much about these group meetings, but I believe that your friends, especially Rosa, can help you a great deal to get your life sorted out.