Wednesday, May 9, 2007

The Bogeyman of Chambers County

George was pretty quiet tonight as we embarked upon the drunken express as I call it these days. It didn't help that I was pretty quiet as well. George had probably drunk a six pack of beer before we even made it out of town.

"Pull over," he said as we were leaving the county. "I've gotta piss."

I pulled off the side of the road way out in the countryside. It was a beautiful night as I left the car running and got out to stretch my legs. George carefully walked down next to the woods to relieve himself. I was looking up at the stars noticing that the summer constellations were making their first appearance when George took off running and hollering.

"Fuck!" George hollered. "There is something in the woods!"

George finally stopped - breathing heavily - and told me to move the car where the headlights shone down into those woods.

"It's just deer," I said loudly. "They are harmless."

"I'm tellin' ya something big, dark, and black was moving in dem woods," George replied.

"Come on," I said. "Get in the car and lets head on."

George jumped in the car, shutting and locking the doors, and then buckled up. I was still smiling as I put the car in gear and drove off. George regained his composure and cracked open another beer.

"You gotta watch out for those kamikaze deer," I said with a grin.

"Shut up, man," George replied, his pride bruised. "I swear that wasn't no deer."

"Uh-huh," I said as I drove on. "It must be the bogeyman of Chambers County."

George was none too thrilled at me making light of his fear. I thought it was funny. There is nothing in the woods of Alabama that can hurt you except other humans. George would have been a mess if he would have been homeless in the woods as I was in the winter of '04. I drove until George had drunk enough that he was falling asleep in the passenger's seat and then took him on home. I will never let George live down tonight.


fiwa said...

Does he know you blogged about it?? Lol... poor George!

Thought I have to admit, I probably woulda been locking the doors too.

Leann said...

cold have been big foot, he's everywhere ya know...LOLOL

Jay M. said...

It's great of you to drive George around, and help him keep his deal with his mom. Also, it's great for him that he's making a good effort to keep true to his word.

Ha. Kamikaze deer. That's hilarious.

Summer said...

Give George a message from me ok?



Isn't it funny to see other people scared out of their panties? I know this sounds cruel, but the biggest belly laughs that I get are when I manage to nonintentionally scare the living crapola out of my hubby...

Poor George..hopefully liquor was the only thing that he was "on," last nite.