Sunday, April 29, 2007

Saving Grace

I stayed on the phone with Rosa last night until midnight. She talked me out of going to get that six-pack of Heineken.

"I don't like you when you are drinking," she said. "You are a different person. But you are easy to bed."

"I know," I replied. "I just feel this empty feeling and want to fill it with alcohol."

"Do you want me to come back over and stay the night?"

"No, I am fine," I replied. "You go get some sleep."

I then left the house just to clear my head as I went on my nightly hike. I had a discussion with my favorite all-night convenience store clerk. He was telling me of the merits of Plumper's porno magazine and I smiled deeply as he talked, amused.

"Big women are just more beautiful," he said, looking wistful.

"My ex-wife was a big woman," I replied. "I thought she was gorgeous."

"You were a lucky man," he told me. "Why did you get a divorce?"

"Ah, it's a long story," I said, not wanting to delve into my days of drunken debauchery sans my medications for my mental illness.

"I see all these skinny women in Playboy and Penthouse and want to tell them to eat a sandwich or two or three."

I burst out laughing. My ex-wife never had that problem. She struggled with her weight so and the pressure society puts upon women to be svelte and slim. I always thought she was being silly and was fine just the way she was. My grandmother would have called her healthy.


KYRIE said...

Yikes a new post! I did not notice while writing the comment below!
My friend did say I give long advices like a grandma!
Well I am glad tht u did not turn 2 booze. Good for u!

austere said...


Your grandma said it right.
And damn good about the six pack.

Cheryl said...

I'm glad Rosa helped you fight that demon. And, I'm sure there'a a lot of big women out there that are saying, right on, about your fondness for the well-endowed figure.

Moonlink said...

You wrestled with your disease last nite, and you won. Every battle will strengthen you. Good work !!! Yeah, I was rooting for you. Rosa is a good friend. I'm glad you appreciate her, and can reach out to her when you are struggling.

Josie said...

I was so glad to read your post this morning and see you made it thru the night without the beer. Whenever on person manages to overcome their demons for one moment, it gives the rest of us encouragement to believe that we can too.

Josie said...

I am a big woman, and I love you for knowing that beauty comes in different shapes and sizes.

Rich said...

That empty feeling is it what gets most of us to act or react. I know from experience (as I'm sure you do to) that filling it with the drink only leaves us feeling worse later. It's good you had Rosa to talk to.

It's easy for us to rationalize anything when we are feeling such a void within our souls.

Hang in there Dude - one day at a time.

I think you're crazy just like me said...

I'm glad you stayed away from the booze that night.

Right on granny ;)
I'm "healthy" too. Almost. hahaha! Getting there, let's say. And it's OK.

Trying2BMe said...

I would have loved your grandmother. Being a big woman, it's difficult to find anyone, friend or otherwise, to look beyond the numbers and see me.

Thank you for posting this... I needed it today :D