Thursday, April 26, 2007

Picnics, Sexuality, and Storms

I and Rosa are sitting out at the park by the river behind the lake. I have a quilt thrown upon the vividly green grass. The laughter of children can be heard by the little fishing pond as ducks drift across it's surface. For lunch, we are eating warm fried chicken and Rosa prepared some potato salad. It is delicious. Storm clouds are looming on the horizon and rain is on the way. We hurry to eat before the skies open up upon us.

“I love a man who can cook.” Rosa tells me as she takes a bite out of a fried chicken leg.

I smile and say, “Thank you. Your potato salad is delicious as well.”

“I try, but I am not as good a cook as you.”

Thunder rumbles on the horizon.

“It looks like a good storm is brewing,” I say.

“And we were just having so much fun,” Rosa replies.

We pack up our picnic and run to the car as the rain begins to fall in earnest. I throw everything in the back of my Honda and we head for home.

“I saw your friend George this morning. He was drunk,” Rosa tells me as I drive us back into town.

“When is George ever not drunk,” I reply.

“Did you used to drink like George?” She asks.

“I drank worse than George,” I reply. “I couldn’t handle my liquor. George can. It was rather pitiful.”

“You seem so strong now.”

“Even the strong have weak moments,” I reply. “That’s why I go to A.A.”

“I wish I was younger,” Rosa then tells me.

“Why?” I ask.

“Cause I was prettier then and more your age and you would want me. I didn’t have all this grey in my hair and these wrinkles in my face.”

There is an awkward silence.

“It’s not that I don’t want you,” I say, trying not to make light of what Rosa just said. “I just think of you as a friend.”

“Friends with benefits?” Rosa asks, alluding to sex, as she smiles demurely.

I laugh and reach out to hold her hand as I drive with the other.

“Yes, there are a lot of benefits to being your friend,” I say downplaying the sexuality of Rosa’s last question.

We finally pull up in my driveway and arrive home. Rosa reclines in my lazy boy lounge chair and is soon fast asleep with Maggie in her lap. I sit down in front of my computer to write this and soon start on chapter seven of my novel. It is just a wonderful day full of good things, good food and great conversation. My schizophrenia is at bay for the moment.


KYRIE said...

I was laughing out loud whn I read this. Ah, Rosa!
What, a lunch without rice? I can never handle such a meal. You people should try curry with steamed white rice some day!
Good luck with ur book!

Patty said...

I have been remiss about posting comments. I so look forward to reading what you have written each day and you deserve more comments in exchange for the pleasure.

I appreciate your honest so very much. It is a rare gift you give to all of us readers.


Laurie Anne said...

I stumbled upon your blog. Very nice entry. thank you... | Let's know it.. said... | Let's to know it...

Grad007 said...

I'm glad you're in good spirits.

Sword said...

I am a folower of your blog, fighting alcoholism at the moment, fighting a yet to be diagonised mood swings and yeah. the last post is a water under the bridge. It will come in a way that we end up jeoperdising our friendship relationship by engaging into emotional endevours.(if sex is emotional to you).
Keep up the good spirit and yes, Somebody from South Africa does read your rambling

fiwa said...

Sounds like you had a nice lunch, and the food sounds soooo good. I wish you could teach me how to make fried chicken, I suck at it!

Maybe Rosa just hasn't had that many friends in her life to know how to act around a male one yet.

Have a good night...

I think you're crazy just like me said...

Aww Rosa. Felt a twinge of sadness. She cares for you and you care for her...and yet...


Anyways, once again I am glad I found your places, take care.

Moonroot said...

Glad you had such a good day.

Melanie said...

the whole Friends With Benefits thing can be fabulous if you're 100% sure that both of you are on the same page about it, and if you happen to be the type of person who can enjoy a good frolic without feeling that it needs to *become something more*. But not everyone is cut out for that. And if you're not, then you're just not. To try to do it when you know it's not the way your heart is wired is just to set yourself up for pain, to deny your true feelings.

That's the thing about feelings. Even if you know they're silly, they still are what they are. They still feel all feeling-like.

Back before kids and marriage and such, I had a couple of close friends who fell into the "FWB" category. If it just so happened that neither of us was in a relationship at a given time and we were looking for some company, it was a simple matter to call each other up and a good time was guaranteed. These were good guys, good friends, and there was a strong mutual respect between us, it just was a thing where we happened to know that our lives were not leading in complementary directions and so a romantic relationship just didn't make sense. It was a great arrangement for all concerned. But there was one guy who couldn't hack it. He tried, but whenever we got together he just would get too attached and would start making mental excuses to figure out how we could be MORE, when it just wasn't the right thing to happen. The FWB situation was hurtful to him and I had to end things. I couldn't even be friends with him until a long time later, after he was married, because he just couldn't be around without feeling jealous and possessive of me. He was a good guy, that just wasn't the way his heart was wired.

I can't say if you're wired for that sort of thing or not, I guess I'm just voting for being really frank with yourself about your own wiring and Rosa's wiring, too. She may say "friends with benefits" in a hopeful way, but could she really be happy with that? Would you?