Rosa’s aunt passed away early this morning at the hospital in Jacksonville, Florida on the Lord's Day. According to Rosa, she had a terrible, painful ordeal with inoperable liver cancer that had spread to other organs as well. She finally got some respite from all that pain after months of battling that terrible disease.
“I didn’t know her well, but I did love her,” Rosa told me early this morning, trying to make herself feel more at ease about the whole affair.
Rosa felt guilty because she wouldn’t be able to make another trip to Jacksonville for the funeral. Rosa is as broke as I. Our disability checks arrive at similar times.
“I know,” I said trying to comfort her which was what Rosa wanted. “We all show love in our own ways. She will always be with you in your memories. It was good you got to see her and talk to her before she passed away. You did the right thing.”
It brought back raw memories of my friend Pipe Tobacco’s turmoil with the recent passing of his mother and memories of my own dear grandmother’s passing, as well, a few years ago. My grandmother was the one soul on this earth that completely understood me and loved me totally unconditionally. She would always jokingly tell me that if I killed someone, she would help me bury the body and then hide the gun. She loved me that much. I know that sounds macabre, but it was our own little personal inside joke.
“Can I go to A.A. with you tonight?” Rosa then asked me, bringing me out of my deep thoughts, as we sat in my den watching an early morning church service on the television.
I was watching mainly for the pipe organ music which I so enjoy; one good thing that has come out of the Christian Church, the music.
“I thought you didn’t believe in god and all that A.A. religious mumbo jumbo,” I replied.
“Well, you’re agnostic and you still go,” Rosa said, snidely, trying to convince me that she honestly wanted to attend a meeting.
I smiled. Rosa was right, if rather abrupt.
“I will pick you up at 6:30 tonight,” I said as Rosa got up from my chair to leave and walk down to the shopping center to do what Rosa normally does down there.
I am kind of apprehensive of Rosa going to A.A. with me. I am worried she will embarrass me. I wonder what Wanda will think of her. Socially, Rosa can be the proverbial bull in the china shop. I will just have to hope for a more even tempered Rosa after the death of her aunt and to personally have more faith in my friend. I can handle Rosa on a personal basis, but am unsure of how to act in a room full of my A.A. peers with her unorthodox behavior. Rosa is always so forgiving of the weird mannerisms that stem from my schizophrenia. I guess I should return the favor in kind as far as Rosa's social transgressions are concerned.