Friday, April 20, 2007

On Love and Rosa…

I had written on my previous post about my days seeming like a broken record (I took it down. Thank you Jay M. for the comment, by the way!) I and Rosa are creatures of habit and we do the same things every day. Lunchtime finds us at Rodger’s Barbeque eating lunch on my tab. We then often walk across the river talking and to see what is going on over at the shopping center where the gang congregates during the day. After that, I will walk home to take a nap and Rosa will watch my television waiting for me to wake up. I just told Rosa we are going to have to try something adventurous tomorrow.

“So, are we going to make wild animal sex?” She asked me in response jokingly.

I burst out laughing. I realize I love Rosa, but not in a traditional way. It is more of a sisterly love. I have found the female equivalent of my kindred spirit. We are a lot alike sans my mental illness. We both struggle with addictions. We both can’t work due to disabilities. We have similar likes and dislikes other than George. There just seems to be this synchronicity shared between us.

I realize Rosa would like for our relationship to blossom to more intimate levels. Just like her comment above, she often makes comments filled with sexual and intimate innuendo. I fear we would ruin our friendship and almost did when we slept together a few months ago. I don’t want to lose the special relationship we have. It means too much to me. It is hard though and that line between friendship and intimate relationship is easily blurred.



true. But just like any addiction, you know that if you venture down the "path of Rosa" as you wrote, you'll only end up hurting the both of you..which isn't something that neither of you need. You guys are the fork and spoon of friendships and it's very nice to see that even though you are a "guy" you're not thinking with other're actually thinking with your mind.

I respect that quite a bit.


clairem said...

I can't help wondering how she feels about your friendship. Does it means to her as much as to you or does she go along because she's hoping that one day you might change your mind about your relationship? ANd that would be why she "makes comments filled with esxual and intimate innuendo". Maybe I'm completely wrong and that as crusty says, "you're the fork and spoon of frienships". I really like that image.
It's great to read you everyday Andrew, thanks for your sharings