That old nemesis of mine struck hard today. Slept most of the afternoon and woke to late shafts of sunshine shining through my bedroom windows. Swirls and eddies of dust were carried around on those shafts of bright light. The sound of children playing outside wafted in through my open windows and was comforting. I got up, put on my shoes and walked to my window to look out. The neighbor's kids were playing baseball. I longed to be a kid again and join in on their game.
Suppertime found me in the kitchen fixing a southwestern feast. Rosa joined me for supper. I served chili sans beans over steamed rice and baked a big iron skillet of Mexican cornbread.
"You cook so damn well," Rosa said sitting at my table eating.
"This chili is not too bad, is it?" I asked.
Rosa smiled and took another bite in return.
"You sure are quiet tonight," Rosa then said.
"I've had a rough day," I replied. "I want to get in my car, drive off and never return."
"You better not drive off without me!" Rosa exclaimed. "I would be bored to death without you. Is it your schizophrenia?"
"Yeah," I replied, sadly.
It's par for the course for my life some days. You win some, you lose some. I am just glad to be alive and maybe tomorrow I will awake to a better day.
I never made it up to my AA meeting to see my Celtic beauty. She will have to wait until tomorrow night. I was deeply disappointed in myself that I couldn't overcome my social anxieties and fears to go. I really need a meeting. I think I am going to go get a six pack of Heineken and cast my cares to the wind. I feel one coming on. The proverbial storm clouds are on the horizon already. Soon, you will be able to hear the thunder and feel the rain. Good night.