Friday, April 27, 2007

Fried Chicken of another Kind

Saw Ferret this morning down at ye olde shopping center. He was reveling me in tales of working at Kentucky Fried Chicken these days.

“It’s a cluster fuck,” Ferret told me. “You don’t want to eat there.”

“I never liked KFC anyway,” I replied. “What bothers you most about it?”

“Nobody ever washes their hands when handling the food and I saw a piece of chicken dropped on the floor and a manager put it back in the heating bin to sell.”

“Gross,” I replied. “That’s why I rarely eat fast food. You pay people shit wages and they will do shit work and will just not give a crap.”

“I’m glad to have the job though even if the hours aren’t that great,” Ferret said. “I just go in and do my job and go home. I try not to let the bullshit get to me. It pays the bills.”

I don’t mean to be disparaging about Ferret, but when he was homeless, he wasn’t the most clean of persons. He would go weeks without a shower and wouldn’t change his clothes or shave. I can only imagine the bottom of the barrel KFC is scraping to hire such an individual. He still looks kind of rough around the edges these days even though he has a home and opportunity to take a bath every day. I think I will continue to cook my own chicken and take a pass on Kentucky Fried Chicken and fast food in general.


KYRIE said...

Would u believe it if I say KFC is the reason I decided to became a vegan? Their fried chicken I bought always had blood on it, totally disgusting! I still get nausea whenever I pass KFC, thinking about it.

House said...


I never like KFC either, and this confirms why.

Thanks for posting this. A good reminder to eat well.


PipeTobacco said...


I would appreciate it if you would give a definition of a "cluster f*ck" as stated by Ferret. For me, I have tried to use various context clues in your essay and still am stymied about that phrase.

I have only heard that expression once or twice in my life, and it did not make sense to me at those times either. Here are the two possibilities of definitions I am debating:

1. I had previously assumed it meant a group copulatory session.... an "orgy" so to speak.


2. A bunch of people who are acting idiotic/goofy and are just ""f*cking" around".

Neither of the above two seems appropriate for Ferret's use, so I would greatly enjoy hearing you give a more accurate definition.


Cheryl said...

No KFC for me either. It's too greasy and not worth the calories anyway. I'm glad Ferret's still working and staying sober.

I bet you make great fried chicken.

Andrew said...

I take the term to being akin to a bunch of male animals congregating around a female to copulate such as which is common in reptiles. It means “big mess.” It originated in the military often used by drill sergeants during basic training. So glad to see you commenting again. I love your comments more than anybody’s.

d. chedwick bryant said...

I have't eaten KFC since I was a kid and got sick on a piece-- it has been bad crap for 20 + years!
same goes for the other places altho I admit I was partial to Jack -in-the Box for awhile--until a friend told me how filthy the place was. ugh.

Eric Valentine said...

Andrew & Pipe! You have both made my day! I haven't had such a chuckle on that topic since my old (drill sergeant)army days!.... :)