Thursday, April 5, 2007

The Complicit Partner

I sat in my den talking to Rosa on the phone late last night. We have become inseparable friends these days and spend most of our waking hours together and on the phone when we are apart. I call us the odd couple.

“I got scheduled for an HIV/AIDS test,” I told her, letting the cat out of the bag.

“I got tested a few years ago and was negative,” She told me, sounding offended.

“It will just give me piece of mind,” I replied. “I need to do this for me.”

“You are the first guy I have been with in years,” She said, innocently, sounding honest.

I wasn’t taking any chances though.

“I know,” I replied. “But you used to hook and I don’t want to take any chances.”

“I always used condoms,” Rosa said, tersely. “I was just desperate to support myself.”

I couldn’t imagine being so desperate for money that you would have to sell your body to feed, clothe, and house yourself. Such is the reality for many forlorn and desperate women in our inner cities. It is a sad fact of life that is often swept under the rug and not talked about by polite society.

I then yawned loudly, telling Rosa I must head for bed.

“I’m sorry,” She said as we said our goodbyes.

“Sorry, for what?” I asked, confused.

“Sorry for putting you in that situation and worrying you,” She said. “I don’t want things between us to change.”

“I am a big boy and was just as complicit in that as you,” I replied. “You get some sleep and don’t worry. It hasn’t changed anything.”

We hung up our phones. I tried to sound brave as we said goodnight, but I am scared to death deep down inside. I have never been faced with the prospect of a disease that might cause my demise. I will be glad when those test results come back.

11 comments:

Amanda said...

You're doing the right thing. I hope everything goes well.

EE said...

hugs!

Cheryl said...

I worried for years about the same thing. I had a boyfriend in the 80's who had engaged in very risky stuff. My sister finally convinced me to be tested. The peace of mind that came from the 'all clear' was priceless. You are probably just fine. You did the right thing. Remember, most worries are wasted. Enjoy the day!

Jenn said...

It really is the right thing to do. I hope everything works out for the best for you.

ab said...

It really is the right thing to do. I hope everything works out for the best for you.

Aug's Casa said...

No worries amigo, I'm sure everything will turn out alright. In the meantime relax and in the end it always turns our for the best.

LAB said...

We are all faced with challenges in our lifes....this one just happens to fall to you now....I'm most certain that you are OK, but it is good to get checked out.

When I found out my husband was cheating a few years ago that was the first thing I did. I got the all clear and now things are good...

Wishing you the best!

Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

Survival is Survival, selling our own bodies is desperate, but must be done...

I've got on set of fingers crossed for your test.

Katie said...

I hope you get good news back.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

Seeing that it's Holy week in the Christian religion, I think that God or G-d (if you're jewish) will grant you your prayer of having one less thing to worry about. My feelings tell me that you'll be AOKAY!!
Now, go light a cigar and enjoy the inspirations that come to you.
Always,
Crusty

austere said...

best.