Thursday, March 8, 2007

Just Friends…

“Let’s just be friends,” Carolyn told me tonight on the phone after a lengthy conversation that was going nowhere just a moment ago.

“Ok,” I said nonchalantly.

“What?” She said exasperated hoping I would fight for my girl or either beg her to stay my gal. “You are not going to give me shit?”

“No,” I said. “I think ‘just friends’ is a good idea. It is not like we get to see each other anymore anyway.”

“Okay,” She said sounding sort of confused and bewildered. “I will talk to you later.”

If big momma wanted a ticket to date other men, then she had my blessing and a first class seat on that train ride. I have grown increasingly tired of our on-again, off-again relationship. I just wasn’t getting much out of it.

The phone rang once more just after I had hung up. I picked it up.

“Hello?” I asked.

“You sure you’re not mad at me?” Carolyn asked.

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“People are supposed to fight and stuff when they break up.”

“I am tired of fighting and being mad and shit,” I replied.

“Ok,” She said sounding even more bewildered as we got off the phone once again.

Years ago I would have drank myself into a stupor over this. My divorce left me a homeless drunkard I was so devastated. You know what I did? I ate a leftover piece of pizza, popped open a coke, and sat down to write this immediately feeling better.

It was good while it lasted. I and Carolyn had some wonderful times together, but the spark in our relationship had long since faded and died. I really do wish her the best and hopefully she will find some guy who has much less “issues” as she calls them than me. Che sara, sara. What will be, will be as the Italians say.

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Summer said...

I wish I was as strong as you are. You amaze me.

Andrew said...


I just couldn't take any BS tonight. My sobriety is just too important. I was like, "Whatever you want honey." Carolyn can be kind of melodramatic and I am sure I will get another call before she goes into work at eleven.

Eric Valentine said...

Hi Andrew, I read your post and I can relate to that having been there. I wrote this piece I would like to share with you. You are still a young man with a lifetime ahead of you to enjoy.

Fleeting Moment

It is a pity that the parting,
Is near opposite of starting,
For in between we burned the fires,
That were the passions of desire.

The rains then came and doused us,
It dulled the spark that once aroused us.
So we may not now be lovers but,
We are still the best of friends.

Eric Valentine, Nov 26/98 ©

Andrew said...


That was just wonderful. Thank you!


Leann said...


I'm so glad to hear you are dealing with this so well. Breaking off a relationship is never easy under any circumstances. I hope it remains peaceful between the two of you.

Amy H said...

I can so relate to this post. In past relationships I have been through similiar things. I really hope that you find something more stable and someone more faithful. What a world of difference it makes.

Take care!

greglo said...

Hi andrew, how well you handle this situation!
It's great to see you feel so good!
Always with you,
Have a nice night, a wonderful morning and a great day!

Grad007 said...

Good for you Andrew! You handled that situation very well. I also hope you find a partner with whom you can develop a more stable and fulfilling relationship.

austere said...

You've been awesome on this, Andrew.

JMH said...


You have a voice, on this blog, that seems to speak with a perfect honesty, like in a well-written, unpublished book.


Kristen said...

I was busy all day yesterday and missed this important development.

Andrew, you sound really GREAT! This is the best for you, it really is. I could hear the relief in your 'voice'.

There may come times when you regret it, and when you do, just think back to the relief that you felt knowing you were not going to be dealing with the off-on up-down roller-coaster all the time.

You stepped off! Congratulations!!!

Rich said...

boundaries recovery is all about boundarieand it looks like you're setting them

m said...

She shouldn't tell you "let's just be friends" unless she means it. Sounds like she is doing what a lot of people do, both men and women. She is saying one thing but meaning another thing!
It sounds as if she wants you to respond to her "be friends" comment with "no, no, let's stay together"... ugh!
She should say what she means clearly and not expect any particular response from you. In my long experience of lame assed relationships, I have come to realize honesty and letting go of expecting a certain response is the best bet!