Thursday, March 15, 2007

A Family Divided

“Your sister told me she didn’t want me in the hospital room after she had her baby,” My mother said as we sat eating our fried catfish platters over at Rodger’s Barbeque this afternoon. “She said she couldn’t take me being in the room after all that.”

A tear erupted and rolled down her cheek.

“You don’t have control over other people and their emotions and feelings,” I said trying to make her feel better. “You only have control over you.”

“I don’t know why your brother and sister hate me so,” She replied. “I couldn’t help I was born with a mental illness.”

“I know,” I said as I reached out to hold her hand. “Life can be totally unfair sometimes.”

“You don’t treat me different.”

“I understand,” I replied. “Remember? I have walked a few days in your shoes so to speak.”

We quietly finished eating our catfish platters and got up to leave. My mother’s hands were shaking violently she was so shaken up by what had occurred the previous day. I don’t understand my brother and sister’s rancor and animosity towards my mother. She couldn’t help being born with a disability. You would think that them both being physicians they would show some more understanding over such matters. Nope, they continue to ostracize my mother and treat her totally different than from my father. It saddens me and makes me feel helpless as they treat me the same. Unlike my mother, I don’t let it get to me though. I am totally blasé about the whole affair and their feelings towards me. I don’t much like them as persons for the way they treat my disabled mother. Shame on them.

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Timothy Carter said...

That's a shame, Andrew. Some people just don't get it. Or don't want to.

Andrew said...

I know Timothy. It is frustrating to all ends to deal with.

simonsays said...

You're right Andrew, shame on them. Jamie

DraMa said...

This post makes me very sad. But, just like you saying you have walked in your mother's shoes, I have NOT walked in your sibling's shoes so it's hard to say why they feel that way and what they were subjected to with your mother's illness. In other words, I have no idea what the experienced that would make them treat her with disdain. But it makes me sad... very sad. Your mother is lucky to have you Andrew.

Augs Casa said...

What a shame. I'm sorry to read this post. It doesn;t seem fair. I guess it's easier to turn a blind eye. No worries amigo, you have plenty of friends here who understand you and your mom.

Summer said...

This made me so sad. My oldest son has been some what brusque with me at times and it hurt like hell. I can't imagine what your mom is feeling. I want to hug her. I hope you will rest tonight.


Kristen said...


Your good and peaceful heart is an example for us all to admire.

May your brother and sister be open to the growth that will open their hearts.

You said exactly the right things to your mother. Hugs to you both.

Lil Toni said...

Physicians?! Shame on them, indeed.

Proxima said...

How very cold-hearted of them! Apparent;ly they didn't take the "Hippocratic Oath" too seriously, to "do no harm", she's their only mother, they should accept all of her, she's family.

p.s. I always like to see you with your smilin' pic up too!


Leann said...

Shame on them Andrew. It's good that you have not let it get you down, but as a Mother, I can so totally understand your mother's angst. My daughter does not always treat me well and it hurts to the very core of me.

abbagirl74 said...

I just love your mom. Your sister has grown older and more independent. She is the mother now. It's weird how that can affect some women. It will be okay. Your mom is in good hands.

Jenn said...

That's really sad. I'm sure it was important to your mom to see her new grandchild. I'm sorry that couldn't happen.

austere said...

well, so far you've made them sound like reasonable, caring people.. maybe something happened, or its just a new mother being protective?

jane said...

shame on them. i guess they don't adhere to there-but-for-the-grace-of-god-go-i school. it's actually sad for them. someday they will regret this - and i hope it's sooner rather than later for everyone concerned. it's terrible for your mom, your dad and you, and also for them.

thinking of you,