Saturday, March 10, 2007

The Dissin’ Man…

“Are you gonna keep dissin’ me?” Rosa asked me angrily as I sat down at the shopping center after eating lunch at Rodger’s today. She had walked up to speak to me.

“The whole thing was a mistake,” I replied once again for the umpteenth time.

“You didn’t think so when you were going down on me and making love to me.”

I cringed at those words and got up to walk away.

“I see how you are going to be,” She hollered after me as I kept walking. "Nombre cobarde! (coward)"

I just wanted to get away. I just couldn’t take all that today. My nerves are kind of shaky after a broken night of sleep. I and Rosa were such good friends before we happened to sleep together and I went and ruined it all. I can be such a dolt when I am drinking.

I then stepped into the dollar store to buy a cheap can of mixed nuts. I’ve been hooked on those things lately and they are only a dollar a can being on sale.

“Sir,” A lady standing at the cash register said as I walked in the door. “We have a new policy. You can’t bring that backpack in here.”

“Will you hold it for me?” I asked.

“Sure,” She said as she smiled, “But I can’t be responsible for anything lost or stolen.”

“On second thought, I will just leave,” I replied thinking of my $350 dollar Canon camera in my backpack. It would just devastate me if something happened to my camera.

I walked on home as a tear erupted from my eye and rolled down my cheek as I thought of Rosa. I really didn’t mean for us sleeping together to happen. I had just had too much to drink and made an inebriated error in judgment. I arrived home to find another call on my answering machine from Carolyn.

Are you avoiding me? I have called three times today and you will not answer. I really need to talk to you. We need to talk about what happened Thursday night. If I don’t get in touch with you today, then I am coming over tonight. Call me.

I sighed. I am being bombarded on all fronts. My life can grow so complicated sometimes and it is my own fault. I am better off just being celibate and alone. It certainly makes life much easier.

I then called my father for advice.

“Don’t answer the door or the phone tonight,” He told me. “You don’t have to deal with that kind of shit.”

“I know,” I said. “But it will probably just get worse.”

“Give me her phone number and I will call her and tell her to leave you alone.”

“No,” I said. “That will make things even more complicated. You don’t know Carolyn. She can have a one track mind.”

“She is way too old for you anyway,” He said. “We need to find you a nice young girl near you own age.”

“I think I am better off alone,” I replied.

“Remember, your sister’s baby is due Monday,” My father said changing the subject. “Have a suitcase packed and ready to go. You are going to ride with us to Birmingham as soon as she goes into labor.”

“Ok,” I said thinking of the mound of laundry sitting in my hall. “I will get some clothes washed and ready today.”

“You just come over and spend the night with your mother and me tonight,” My father then said.

“No, I need to face this,” I replied. “Too many times I have ran from my problems in the past. I have just got to tell Carolyn that it is over and that she has got to stop bothering me.”

“Just don’t drink over this, ok?”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Well, this all is going to worry the shit out of me. You call me tonight and let me know you are sober.”

“I will,” I replied. "I am going to get to an AA meeting this evening."

We both hung up the phone and I sat down in my lazy boy lounge chair to rest as Maggie jumped up into my lap to take a nap.

At least, I have one woman in my life that is not just driving me absolutely bat shit crazy, I thought.


Teronni said...

bat shit crazy

I like that. I'm going to try to work it into my vocabulary.

Hope your night goes okay. I'll think of you as I am eating dinner with some family members who have a way of choking all of the "relax" out of relaxing.

Cheryl said...

Your Dad is full of surprises. I felt like hugging him after reading this post. He realy loves you. I didn't know he knew about Carolyn. I hope you can be strong when you talk to her. I'm sorry about what's going on with Rosa. She'll get over what happened, or move on. It will be sad if you have to lose her as a friend, but it may come to that.

Summer said...

Make that two.

I lost a friend like that once, but we were both sober. I've never forgiven him and Rosa will most likely not forgive you, so, be prepared.

I can't make any judgment about you and Carolyn's relationship as I don't know enough about it. But, if it is truly something that you don't want, then you do in fact need to tell her. It hurts to hurt someone, I know this too.

Andrew said...


I will be thinking of you as well. Good luck tonight and I hope things go smoothly.

abbagirl74 said...

Continue to stay focused and stay strong. Be honest with these two. Honesty is the best policy. You can't lie to protect their feelings. You have to be honest to protect yourself. A wonderful woman will come along, no doubts there. She will love you and support you. Till' then, I have a big stick you can use if you need it!

Andrew said...


Dad can surprise me as well. He know of Carolyn, but as little as possible. For the longest time, he thought we were just friends, but lately I have been opening up to him about it. Yeah, I realize I completely screwed up I and Rosa's friendship. C'est le vie.

Andrew said...


I know. I can do some pretty stupid stuff while drinking as you well know from your own experiences with someone who drinks in your life. It is going to hurt, but it needs to be done. I am tired of the chaos and willy nilly nature of the relationship.

Andrew said...


Send that stick my way! Love ya gal. Glad to see that you commented. I miss ya lots. You are so damn busy all the time and you're blogging friends miss you dearly when you are away.

C.A. said...

I hope tonight is peaceful for you. Take care of YOU. That's your most important job. There's no shame in going to your parents for a night, if it's what you need to do to keep peace in your life.


Andrew said...

Thank you C.A.,

I am ok. I am having a quiet evening of reading blogs and just staying calm. Thanks so much for the comment, by the way. They mean a lot to me.


Augs Casa said...


Not much to say here amigo. I say grab a blanket and saddle up that lazy boy and "chilax" as my brother would say. Enjoy your evening amigo.

Leann said...


I agree with Abba. Honesty is the best policy and their denial is not your problem. Try to remember you are in charge of your feelings only.

I remember by drinking days in the Navy. There are plenty of things I'd go back and change if I could and people I'd go back and apologize to if I could find them.

Hang in there and congrats to your sister!!

mosiacmind said...

Yeah I am able to leave a comment. Gosh hearing about what happened with you and Rosa reminded me of my using days and the things I would like to go back and change. I am glad that you are going to go to a meeting...remember nobody or nothing is worth using over. I hope that things go well on your trip. Will you have access to a computer? Please take great care of yourself.

Andrew said...


Thank you about the baby. We all so excited about it. I am going to be an uncle twice over now and only sibling not have any kids.

I didn't know you were in the Navy. My brother is an officer stationed in San Diego.

Andrew said...


So good to see you finally able to comment. Yeah, we do things when using that we normally would never do. I am the poster child for don't drink.

I won't be able to post at the hospital, but will at my sister's house. Hopefully, we will have some good news in a few days and I will post about on my blog.

greglo said...

lots of love to you!

Best thoughts.


Andrew said...

Thank you Laurent. Lots of love to you as well. I appreciate the well wishes.

-Lo said...

I hope your night was filled with peace and Maggie love!


austere said...

pretty awful but done is done. do you know your writing about it can and will probably help five other ppl from making the same mistake?