Saturday, March 31, 2007

Discussions of my Illness over a Hearty Meal

I was sitting over at my parent’s house eating supper last night. Helen had cooked a wonderful meal of sour cream and mushroom chicken, green beans, baked sweet potato patties, a green salad, and corn bread. I asked Helen for the recipe for her sour cream and mushroom chicken. She mixed equal parts cream of mushroom soup and sour cream and then melted in a stick of butter. She then seasoned it with salt and pepper and poured this over large chicken breasts and baked it in the oven until the chicken was fork tender and done. It was some of the most fattening and delicious baked chicken I have ever eaten.

“You are still acting weird from yesterday,” My father told me over our meal as we sat at his kitchen table.

My mother was strangely quiet last night and not saying much.

“I am just tired and haven’t been able to sleep,” I replied. “My sinuses have also been giving me hell with all this pollen we have been having.”

It has been a bumper year as far as pine and oak pollen is concerned.

“I thought I was going to have to check you in the hospital yesterday,” My father then said.

“Please, God, don’t put me back in that hospital,” I told him. “You just give me something to sleep, put me in the bed, and I will be better in the morning after taking my meds.”

“You don’t realize how strange you act, do you?” My father asked.

“No, not really,” I replied taking another bite of my chicken.

“You won’t make eye contact, will not sit still, and smoke obsessively when you get like that,” He said.

“Well, I was feeling pretty rough yesterday and it is a scary feeling,” I replied. “The most important organ in my body was malfunctioning.”

My father gave me some pyroxate for my sinuses and then some Librium to help me sleep. I walked home, drank a glass of milk, took two Librium, and went sound to sleep and slept for five hours. I awoke well after midnight feeling rested. I have got to get my sleeping habits back on a more normal schedule though.


Dorid said...

It's kinda interesting... I posted earlier about "tells" little things that indicate the illness: things that indicate medication hasn't been taken, backsliding, etc. Chewy is learning to self evaluate very well, but I can still tell by the way he moves, and things he's had all his life like pupil dialation and hives, when he's not doing well.

It's rough, because I know all you can do is continue taking your meds, try to stablize your schedule, and ride it out.

This is one of the reasons I find you such a great read, Andrew. You aren't afraid to touch on these things... and at the same time show that no matter what effect the illness has life goes on around you and in you.

Kudos to you.

Nicole, Graeme and Janel said...

I was just looking at random blogs tonight, feeling very down, when I came across your blog.

Last Saturday I gave birth to my 2nd child, Zoe, after being induced because she had died in utero at 37 weeks. Only 2 days before that an emergency scan had shown her to be healthy and fit.

Something about your struggle for 'normality' (whatever that may be) has resonated deeply within me. I will bookmark your blog and check back regularly. Thanks for your honesty.


KYRIE said...

Andrew, just hang in there. You hv undergone a lot imrovement these past few weeks, I can tell frm ur previous posts, so wht happened these last 2 days must hv shook u pretty bad n damaged ur confidence. But u must never doubt in ur ability to conquer ur illness n addiction. Never let negative thinking creep in. There are lot of people here who believe in u n rootin 4 u so it is now ur turn to believe in urself.

Amanda said...

Please don't be offended, but sometimes I'm grateful that my husband isn't as clever as your father. I hope you get some sleep tonight.

d. chedwick bryant said...

Nicole, I hope things are better in your world soon, love to you & yours.

Andrew, this spring has been a struggle for many people, hang in there, and get your rest.

veronneca said...

Andrew, maybe you should start a proper schedule/timetable that u need to stick to for a while. and then you'll gain the momentum of doing things automatically like getting enough sleep at specific hours. I pray you'll get well soon... or at least, better.

Take care!


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